


Who I am Inside

by Thursdays_Angel



Series: Picking Up the Pieces [6]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, BAMF Pepper Potts, BAMF Thor (Marvel), BAMF Tony Stark, Gen, Loki (Marvel) Has Issues, Loki (Marvel)-centric, Morgan Stark is a cutie, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Protective Thor (Marvel), Sick Loki (Marvel), Sickfic, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-04
Updated: 2019-08-04
Packaged: 2020-07-31 07:17:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20111257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thursdays_Angel/pseuds/Thursdays_Angel
Summary: Takes place just after the events of the Forth Year in The First Five Years. The Stark's and Odinson's get together in New Asgard to celebrate Thanksgiving. Loki becomes ill with a disease that is deadly to Seiðrmar. As if that isn't bad enough, Loki is forced to remain in his Jötunn form in order to survive long enough for a cure to be found. Loki would rather suffer the disease than be stuck as a monster.





	Who I am Inside

**Author's Note:**

> *Peeks out from around corner* 
> 
> So... that plot bunny I mentioned previously... yeah, she kind of spiraled out of control. I was thinking maybe a nice 6-9K fic... Nope, 21K later and it's finally done. This thing is almost as long as The First Five Years. But it's out of my system so... 
> 
> Hopefully I'll be able to actually work on the last part of Endgame now that this is out of my system. We'll see what my muse has to say.
> 
> As always, any mistakes are my own. I do a lot of writing on my tablet and it's amazing how many times it'll just insert a word I was not going for and when I go back to proof read I'm like, the hell did that happen?
> 
> Enjoy!

** _ Who I am Inside _ **

Loki sneezed. He waved a hand before his face to try to remove some of the dust that had been kicked up when he’d dropped the old tome on the fundamentals of seiðr onto the table and opened it. From behind him, Thor laughed.

“I told you not to open that in here,” Thor said from the kitchen.

“Shut up,” Loki replied.

Leaving the kitchen, Thor came to sit at the table by Loki. “Why did you bring that back anyway? It’s not as if you need practice.”

“Tony’s been bugging me to explain how seiðr works. I thought I’d try to translate some of this for him. Especially since some of the terms aren’t anything he would understand. I’m not really quite sure how to explain it to him.”

Loki ran his fingers down the pages. It had obviously been a very long time since anyone had opened the tome. Loki made a face as the dust stuck to his fingers.

He and Thor had just returned from a short trip to Vanaheim to visit their uncle Freyr and to begin trade talks between Vanaheim and New Asgard. Loki had taken some of his time there to explore the library. There had been a lot of knowledge, which had been lost when Asgard was destroyed, that he wanted to try to regain from the libraries of Vanaheim.

He was hoping that if they did manage to come to a trade agreement with Vanaheim they could then, in turn, have something new to offer as trade with Midgard. As it was, their current major export was from their miniscule fishing industry. New Asgard would need more than that if they were to stay afloat.

Loki sneezed again. He stood up to wash his hands of the dust and also to grab a notebook for later. As he returned to his seat, he swiped a fry from Thor’s plate.

Thor tried to smack at him but missed. “If you want some, go get it yourself.”

“Yours was closer.” Loki said with a smile. He sneezed again. That was getting annoying.

Thor’s brow furrowed and a look of concern crossed his face. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” Loki replied. “It’s just all of this dust. It’s been a long time since I’ve handled something this old.” Thor opened his mouth, probably to make some quip about his age then remembered that he was _older _than Loki. Loki raised an eyebrow at his brother then promptly sneezed again.

“Alright, that’s it!” He exclaimed, slamming the tome shut and kicking up more dust. With a wave of his hand it disappeared into his dimensional pocket.

Thor’s look of amusement at his frustration was annoying. “That’s what happens when you spend all of your time with old books.”

“At least I know how to read.”

“I know how to read,” Thor said, “I just find it boring.”

“Which explains _everything._” Thor threw a fry at him and Loki laughed. “What time did Pepper say they were going to arrive?”

“Around three,” Thor replied. He pushed his plate more towards Loki. “She said there was something Tony wanted to see first.”

Loki stole more fries, dipping them in barbecue sauce. The Stark family was visiting for the Thanksgiving celebration. It was something he and Thor had been invited to their first year on Midgard and they had decided to bring the tradition to New Asgard. While they had lost much with the destruction of Asgard, there was still many things to be thankful for. Besides, it was also an excuse for excessive food, which they could never pass up.

They continued to converse, Loki finally getting up for a plate of his own fries. Once Thor had left and Loki finished eating he pulled out the tome again and finally began to go through it. He sneezed a few more times from the dust. It was a shame winter had come; he would have loved to have opened a window.

He lost track of time as he worked as the next thing he knew Thor was calling him to say the Stark’s had arrived.

Loki marked his place within the tome and sent his work into his dimensional pocket then left to meet everyone.

Morgan, as usual, was nothing but a ball of energy. She didn’t make it past the entryway before her father caught her arm. “Shoes off little missy,” Tony said. “Don’t track snow through the house.”

Morgan rolled her eyes and quickly kicked off her boots then she ran for her uncles.

“Sorry,” Pepper said.

“Don’t worry about it,” Thor replied, picking Morgan up in a hug. “It cleans up.”

“T’or,” Morgan giggled, “my hornays!”

Loki smiled as she adjusted the mini helm he had made her at Halloween. “What fine horns they are,” he said.

“Ki!” Morgan quickly hugged Thor then wiggled out of his arms, running to Loki.

He gave her a hug, mindful of the mini horns. He knew from experience they could get in the way. “Have you grown since we last saw you?”

Morgan nodded. “Daddy says I’m a weed.”

Tony laughed. “I said you were growing _like _a weed.”

She waved for Loki to bend down. He did and in a poor stage whisper she said, “He said I’m a weed.”

“Come here squirt,” Tony said, waving his daughter back to him. “Let’s take off your coat.”

Morgan made a face. “I like my coat.”

“Daddy means your winter coat honey,” Pepper said. “You can keep the one underneath on.”

“Oh,” Morgan said, unzipping her coat, “okay.”

Loki helped her get her arms out and he saw that she wore the black and green leather coat that mimicked his leathers. He looked back at the other two with a raised eyebrow and he couldn’t really help his smirk.

“I drew the line at the whole outfit,” Pepper said, taking the coat from him. “She’d wear it every day if I let her.”

“Do you need help brining your bags in?” Thor asked them.

Tony shook his head. “Nah, we don’t have much. We’re not going to stay here long.”

Loki shared a confused look with his brother. “Are you going back early?” Loki asked.

“Nothing like that,” Pepper said. “That’s why we had to stop before we came here.”

Tony looked like the kid who had his hand in the cookie jar. “We won’t be staying here long because we’ll be moving into our new house. We bought the one on the other side of town.”

Thor looked just as surprised as Loki felt. “That... is _so _going to annoy the counselors.” Thor said with a smile.

Tony shrugged as they made their way into the living room. “We are constantly visiting each other. It only made sense that we get a place here. Which reminds me,” Tony pulled out a set of keys from his pocket and tossed them to Thor, “that brownstone in New York you guys stayed in before you moved here, it’s yours. Merry Christmas.”

Thor looked at the keys in his hand, to Loki and back to Tony and Pepper. “You’re serious?”

“Yes,” Pepper replied.

Morgan crawled into Loki’s lap. “You’re stuck with me for ever and ever.”

“Oh no,” Loki said giving her a squeeze, “what ever shall I do?”

She giggled. “I don’t know... feed me cookies?”

“Cookies?” Loki asked. “Why would I want to feed you cookies?”

She smiled up at him. “Cause you love me.”

Loki couldn’t help but laugh. “Can’t argue with that logic.” He pinched her cheek. “Manipulative,” he pretended to wipe a tear from his eye. “They grow so fast.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “She’s only two and I’m already dreading her teenage years.”

Loki’s smile widened. “Now those _will _be fun.”

“Please brother,” Thor said, “tell me you’ll have a way to get her out of trouble.”

Loki scoffed, “You’re assuming she’ll be caught.” He received several eye rolls in response.

“How was your trip?” Asked Pepper, changing the subject.

“It went rather well,” replied Thor. “Our uncle was pleased to see us. Prospects for trade between our Realms seem good. I’m hoping that trading with Vanaheim will open new prospects for out trade with the rest of Midgard.”

“I also brought back a few books on seiðr for you to look through,” he told Tony. “Though they’re written in Vanir so I’ve begun to translate one.”

Tony’s eyes lit up. “That’s awesome.” He rubbed his hands together in glee. “When can we start?”

Pepper turned to her husband, eyebrow raised. “We just got here. You are not allowed to work the whole time we’re here.” Her phone began to ring. A look of extreme frustration crossed her face. She pulled it out to look at the caller ID. Loki could have sworn her eyebrow twitched. “Yes Happy?” Pepper answered. “Yes, we made it just fine. No, you don’t need to accompany us. Yes, the Board can run things while we’re gone.” A pause as the other person spoke. “I’m hanging up now Happy. Enjoy your vacation.”

“Happy being his overprotective self?” Tony asked.

Pepper put her phone away. “I swear he’s only gotten worse since Morgan was born.”

“In his defense, he did kinda see what happened to New York.”

Loki grimaced. “I’m never getting away from that, am I?”

“You guys have met Happy,” Tony said. “He’s been like that since... oh _forever. _With or without New York he’d still be overbearingly protective.”

“That makes me feel so much better,” Loki said dryly.

“So about this magic.”

“Are you going to teach daddy to do magic like you?” asked Morgan.

Loki was glad he’d created her helm with small horns. The way she moved her head would take someone’s eye out. “Not quite,” he replied, “but I am going to teach him how it works.”

“Can you teach me too?” She waved her hands in front of her in an imitation of what Loki did.

“Sure, I’ll even show you that you don’t need all the hand waving.” He’d only done that to make it more interesting for the toddler. He wasn’t really a big fan of the over exaggeration with his hands because it reminded him of the charlatan but, it did keep Morgan entertained so it was a sacrifice he was willing to make.

“Mommy, is my bag here?” Morgan asked. She left Loki’s lap and ran for the door. Her small princess themed backpack sat under the coat rack. She grabbed it, bringing it over then climbing back into his lap. “We gotz a present for you an’ T’or.”

In her excitement, she nearly spilled the contents. Loki managed to help her open her pack. She grabbed what she was looking for and dropped her pack to the side. She held up the small frame for him to see. “You like?”

Loki took the frame from her and saw a picture of them from Halloween the month prior. Loki held Morgan in his arms while she sported an outfit identical to him with Thor standing beside them. Loki and Thor were both dressed as “Lokitty and Labrathor” as they had been dubbed by Tony. Morgan had enjoyed her uncle’s costumes.

“I love it,” Loki told her, giving her a one armed hug. He handed the picture to his brother to see. “We’ll have to find a place to hang it.”

“Oh Norns,” Thor said. To Tony he asked, “Did you have to take pictures?”

Tony’s expression clearly stated ‘duh.’ “Of course I had to,” the inventor replied. “Aside from being perfect blackmail material I cannot pass up an opportunity to capture my kid being cute. Which, by the way, is all the time.”

“Don’t forget the ones I have from when we I found Morgan in Loki’s room.”

“I want copies of those,” Loki said.

“You’re not supposed to like them,” Thor told him.

“Makes it hard for you to use them as blackmail when I’m not ashamed of them, isn’t it?”

Thor tipped his head back against the couch. “Sometimes you take all of the fun out of being an older brother.”

“Which just makes being the younger brother all the more fun.”

Thor put the picture aside for the time being. They continued to converse for a time. Eventually Morgan wanted to go play so Loki, being the best uncle _ever_, took up entertainment duty. It gave him an excuse to use his seiðr frivolously and he hoped she wouldn’t ever lose her awe in watching him work.

* * *

The next couple of days passed uneventfully. He and Thor had gone to see the Stark’s new house and had oohed and awed as required. It really would be a nice home. Of course during the tour Tony had explained all of the different ways he was going to “modernize” the house.

He had continued to translate the tome for Tony and had even begun to explain the basics of how it worked. From across the table, Tony pinched the bridge of his nose. “So wait. Are you manipulating the energy around you or,” he dropped his hand, “how do you even interact with it to begin with?”

“Energy manipulation isn’t entirely wrong,” Loki replied. “As for _how _I’m able to manipulate it…” he drummed his fingers on the table in thought. “Seiðr is a part of me, it’s in my blood.”

“So it can never really be taken away from you.”

“Right. To do so would kill me.”

“Wasn’t there something Thor did to prevent you from using it after New York?”

Loki nodded. “The cuffs he put on me were enchanted to suppress my ability to use my seiðr, to a point. There are different forms of, well, magic as a whole. There are also different ways that seiðr can manifest within someone.”

“How so?”

“Thor’s seiðr for example.”

Tony sat up a little straighter. “Thor can use magic?”

“Where do you think his lightning comes from?”

“Huh? Guess I never really thought about that. So can he do what you do? With the illusions and stuff?”

“If he put his mind to it I suppose he could. Thor’s seiðr leans more toward the elemental. Thunderstorms aren’t the only type of weather pattern he can call forth. He could make it snow if he wanted.”

“But not you?”

“Not naturally, no. I would have to use an actual spell for something like that. However, much of what I do, for most Seiðrmar would require them to use a galðr of some form. It’s a… type of song or spoken spell to do whatever it is they wanted. Most of what I do comes as second nature. I don’t really even think about it. I suppose you could liken it to driving. Once you know how, you don’t really think about the process, you just do it.”

“I feel like we’re talking in two different languages here,” Tony said, rubbing his temples.

Loki shrugged. “We pretty much are. The problem is being able to translate the ‘language’ I know for seiðr into something you can understand.”

“What about the uh… what was it Thor tried to teach me a while back? All-speak?”

“That’s a form of seiðr as well as being a language of its own. It inherently translates any language you hear into a language you understand while at the same time causing whomever you’re speaking to, to hear what you’re saying in a language known to them.”

“Because that’s not confusing in the slightest.” Tony dropped his hands again. “In terms I can understand, it’s a form of physics, right?”

Loki thought about it. “Yes, but... I think trying to explain it that way would be too complicated.” He leaned his elbows against the table and rested his chin in his hands. “I think it would be more likened to alchemy. I’m taking matter in one form and changing it into something else.”

Tony cocked an eyebrow. “Alchemy? Alchemy doesn’t work.”

“No, but I’m using it as an example. Back during this worlds Medieval and Renaissance periods, the belief was that one could manipulate lead into gold. Obviously, it didn’t work but with seiðr I’m applying the same principal that they were trying to use. Matter can’t be created or destroyed, just changed, we can agree on that.”

“Yeah.”

“When I manifest something,” here he manifested his dagger, “from my dimensional pocket I’m breaking it down to its base particles there and rebuilding it here. If I’m ‘creating’ something that hadn’t existed before, clothing for example, I’m taking energy and rearranging it to become whatever I want it to.”

“So magic isn’t ‘magic’ in the ‘Abracadabra’ sense, it’s a science.”

“Yes and no. It is a science but not one that can be explained in any meaningful way so as to _not _seem like magic. Does that make any sense?”

“Not really but I think I’m beginning to follow. You’re a catalyst.”

“Exactly. However, I am also a natural shapeshifter. I can rearrange my own cells to make myself into something else. My base DNA never changes but I can manipulate my cells to a certain extent.”

“So that’s why the cat features were so real.”

“Because they were, yes.”

Tony sat back in his chair as he slowly processed what Loki had told him. “How do you know how to change something back to the way it was?”

Loki shrugged. “That I can’t explain. It’s another one of those things that I can just do. I wish there was a simple way to tell you all of this but there isn’t. It takes decades to even begin to really understand seiðr, centuries to let alone become proficient in its use. That was another area I was lucky. I had a natural affinity for it.”

“And this is just the _basics_?”

Loki shrugged one shoulder. “It does get more complicated as it goes.”

“Let’s me see that book again.”

Loki passed the tome over for Tony to see again. He felt a tickle in his nose again and sneezed. “I think I’m allergic to this book.”

Tony chuckled, “I know people who would claim to be allergic to reading.”

“It’s not that,” Loki said, “it’s this particular tome. I’ve been sneezing since I first opened the damn thing.”

Tony flipped both the tome and the translations Loki had provided. Seeing that Tony was thoroughly engrossed in the tome, Loki left the table to find Morgan. She was being awfully quiet which usually meant she was up to something, a trait Loki could enjoy. Thor and Pepper appeared to still be out picking up things they would need for their dinner in a couple of days.

He found Morgan in the living room quietly coloring. As silently as he could he snuck up behind her and tickled her sides. She squealed in laughter. “Ki!” she exclaimed, wiggling away from him.

Unlike his brother, Loki didn’t chase after her. “What are you doing?” he asked her. “You were too quiet.”

“I was drawing a picture,” she said, picking up the crayon she dropped.

He sat on the couch behind her. “Of what?”

She twisted to him, pushing a stray piece of hair out of her face. “Our family.” She took the paper she’d been drawing on and held it up for him.

Loki could make out five figures on the page, one each depicting her parents and also Loki and Thor. Morgan had placed her rendition of herself between Loki and her mother. “Why didn’t you put yourself between your mother and father?”

She took the paper back and continued to color on it. “Cause.”

“Because…?”

She shrugged. “I wanted to.”

He knew he wasn’t going to receive any kind of real answer from her. There was no sense to a child’s logic.

“Did you teach daddy magic?”

“As much as I could,” he told her, slipping to the floor and taking a crayon and paper to color with her. “He still can’t do magic like I can.”

“Duh,” Morgan said with a roll of her eyes. “No one can do magic like you do Ki. You’re the bestest,” her little tongue stuck out as she tried to stay within the lines she had created. Apparently satisfied with her work, she put the crayon down. “Can we go play in the snow?”

Inwardly, Loki cringed. After learning the truth of his heritage, he _hated_ the snow. Of course, now that Asgard was gone and he had to shovel and _drive _in it, he only hated snow even more. Looking at Morgan’s pleading gaze he knew he’d already lost. “Get your coat.”

* * *

Loki was _freezing._ He pulled his blankets tighter around himself. He blamed his current predicament on having spent so much time outdoors the previous day playing in the snow with Morgan. No matter what he did, he just couldn’t seem to get warm. It had started shortly after they had finally come back inside for the night. He ached but he’d attributed it to fatigue. He had been running himself ragged lately, what with helping to run New Asgard, their trip to Vanaheim and just simply making sure Thor didn’t do something to hurt himself.

_Who knew monsters could feel cold_. Loki thought. A full body shiver ran through him.

Morning sunlight filtered in through his window. He knew he needed to get up, as there was much they needed to do to prepare for their meal the following day. He didn’t want to leave the warmth of his bed, as miniscule as it was.

The thought of a hot shower made him lower the comforter a bit. Maybe if he sprinted to the bathroom he could limit his exposure to the cold. Was it worth it? Hot steamy water… definitely worth it.

Loki threw back the covers, stood and promptly sat back down again as spots danced across his vision. He blinked a few times to clear them. That was odd but once he could see clearly again he made for the bathroom.

He started the shower, turning the water to its highest setting. As soon as steam began to envelop the bathroom, he stripped and climbed in. The water was absolutely _glorious_. His shiver this time was of relief. He could tell he had been cold because as soon as the hot water hit his flesh it cooled. He didn’t know what time it was nor if anyone else wanted to shower but he didn’t care about that because he was finally getting warm.

Loki curled into a ball on the floor of the shower, minimizing the amount of skin exposed to the cold air. He knew he was coming down with something. It had been decades since he’d been sick. It was not something he had missed. He just hoped it would stay mild until after their dinner.

A knock on the door caused him to flinch, his head pounding in sync with the knocks. He glared in the direction of the door. “What?” he growled.

Thor’s voice reached him from the other side of the door. “Are you alright brother? You’ve been in there for over half an hour.”

Loki blinked. There was no way that much time had passed. He shuddered as he realized the water was slowly losing its warmth. Sighing internally, he stood and finished his shower. Fatigue washed over him as he dressed. Perhaps it would be best to return to bed.

He left the bathroom and shouldn’t have been as surprised to see Thor waiting in the hallway as he was. Once his brother caught sight of him a look of concern crossed Thor’s features. “You look terrible.”

Loki hummed in agreement. “I think I’m beginning to become ill.” He flashed Thor a weak smile. “It’s nothing to worry over. I just need to rest some more.”

Thor reached out and placed a hand on Loki’s forehead. “You are very warm.”

“I was just taking a hot shower, of course I’m warm.”

Thor drew his hand back. “You go rest. I’ll bring you something to drink.”

Loki nodded. “Can you tell Morgan I’m sorry. I know she wanted to go out in the snow again.”

“Someone else will take her. You lay back down so you can begin to feel better.”

Loki’s eyes were beginning to droop again. He slowly made his way back to his room. His bed was a welcome sight and he shuffled back over to it. He climbed back in and wrapped his blankets around himself. That Norns awful cold was starting to sink in again. It felt bone deep. He just needed sleep and warmth... sleep and warmth...

The next time Loki woke, the sun was making its descent from the sky. Loki’s whole body ached from how tightly he was curled up. That bone deep cold had settled within his chest. He uncurled himself and rolled over. There was a glass of water on his bedside table. He sat up, reaching for it. The water was cool yet soothing against his dry throat.

He figured he should attempt to eat something light. Strangely enough Loki could feel that he had sweat sometime during his sleep. He stood, using his seiðr to quickly freshen his clothes.

Searing white hot pain gripped his chest, sending him to his knees. Loki cried out, gripping at his chest. This was a pain unlike anything he had ever felt, including what had been done to him while a captive of Thanos. He withered on the floor praying for the pain to stop.

Footsteps pounded on the floor and his door burst open to reveal Thor and Tony. Loki whined pitifully. “I-i ca-can’t...”

Thor dropped to the floor beside Loki. “Loki what happened? What’s wrong?”

Loki shook his head, tears streaming down his cheeks. “I don’t... it hurts...”

“What hurts?” Tony asked, moving to the other side of Loki. “Your chest?”

Loki nodded, the pain making it near impossible to speak. It was so hard to breathe. His whole body was strung tight and he gripped his shirt so tightly he could feel the fabric beginning to tear.

He could make out sounds above him but the exact words spoken were lost to his pain. He had a brief moment to be thankful he was already on the floor as the world around him was lost to darkness.

* * *

Tony watched Loki go limp saw that Thor on the verge of a complete freak out. He had two crisis on his hands and unfortunately, he really couldn’t take care of both at the same time. He checked Loki who had finally passed out from the pain. He was extremely pale except for the pink on his cheeks indicating a fever. Tony pressed a hand to Loki’s forehead. “He’s burning up,” he said to Thor. “I think we need to take him to the hospital.”

Thor nodded, “Eir. Eir will know what to do.” Thor gently pulled Loki into his arms and stood. Tony grabbed the comforter from the bed and together they headed out of the room.

“Can you guys get heart attacks?” From the pain Loki seemed to have in his chest, that seemed like the logical conclusion to Tony.

“I don’t know,” Thor replied.

Tony sincerely hoped Loki wasn’t actually having a heart attack. He quickly pulled on his boots and Thor put Loki down long enough to do the same. Tony stopped him before he could pick Loki back up. “Somethings wrong.”

“Yes, I know.”

“No Thor. His lips are turning blue. I don’t think he’s breathing.”

Tony knelt down beside the trickster once more and checked his breathing. It was there but very shallow.

“Daddy, what’s wrong with Ki?” Morgan asked from her place by the sofa.

Pepper’s concerned voice answered her. “Loki hasn’t felt good today sweetie. I think they’re going to take him to the doctor.”

Loki twitched then started to convulse. Tony put his hands under Loki’s head to prevent him from banging it on the floor. He looked up at Thor, “How far away is the hospital?”

“Five minutes if we walk,” said Thor.

Tony nodded but didn’t respond, continuing to time how long Loki’s seizure would last. It felt like it was going on forever. Finally, Loki’s convulsions began to subside. It had lasted just under five minutes and he remained unconscious. When Tony felt it safe enough, he motioned for Thor to pick Loki back up after wrapping him in the blanket.

Together they left the house, making for the small hospital in the center of the town. They managed to enter the hospital just as Loki began to seize once more.

An older woman, with dark hair that was beginning to gray, saw them enter. She rushed forward, “This way my king.”

They followed her into an examination room where Thor attempted to lay Loki down and not drop him on the floor. “I don’t know what’s wrong with him,” Thor said, his voice trembling.

“We will do everything we can to help him,” the woman replied as a nurse entered to help as well. “How long has he been seizing?”

Tony looked at his watch. “This one I’d say about two minutes. He had another seizure that lasted about five right before we got here.” The woman hummed, scanning Loki with a device Tony didn’t recognize. He reached over to pull Thor away from the bed. Thor didn’t really budge. “Thor, come over here. Give them room to work.”

That seemed to get Thor’s attention and he backed away from the bed. “This has never happened before.”

“How long as he been ill?” she asked.

“He didn’t feel well this morning. He’s slept most of the day. I don’t know what started this. We heard him cry out and the sound of him hitting the floor. When Tony and I found him he was in severe pain and clutching at his chest.”

“His fever is dangerously high,” she turned to the nurse. “Ingrid, bring me ice packs and a vile of acetaminophen.”

“At once, Lady Eir,” Ingrid replied, rushing to fulfill the request.

“The prince’s seizure is being brought on by his fever,” Eir explained as Loki’s convulsions came to a stop. “It is exceptionally dangerous for it to be this high.”

Ingrid returned with the items Eir had requested. She placed an ice pack behind Loki’s neck, at each of his armpits and at his groin. Loki groaned, trying to move away from the cold.

“Be still my prince,” Eir said as she injected the medicine into an IV that had been set up in Loki’s arm. “We must bring down your fever.”

“Mama?” Loki asked, fever bright green eyes blinking open but not focusing on anything. “I’m cold.”

A flash of alarm crossed Eir’s expression. “You are cold?” she asked.

Now that it she’d mentioned it, Tony realized Loki’s lips were still tinted blue. Loki nodded again, trying to push the ice packs away.

Eir made sure they remained in place. “Are you in pain?” Loki nodded again. “Where?” she prompted.

“Ch…” Loki’s eyes began to droop again. “Chest.”

“Try and stay awake,” Eir said. “What were you doing before the pain started?”

Loki’s eyes blinked open again and his brow furrowed. “I… sleeping…” His whole body shuddered. “I’m cold,” he murmured weakly.

It was obvious Eir would receive no answer from him. She continued to treat Loki and once she was satisfied that he was stable she led them from the room. She turned to Thor and said, “I will run some tests to determine where the source of his infection is. Has he come into contact with someone who is ill or been somewhere he could have picked up an illness?”

Thor shook his head. “Nothing I can think of. We spent time in Vanaheim but that was almost two weeks ago.”

She hummed in thought. “It is possible he picked up something there that took time to manifest. Sometimes a virus can take a while to incubate before any symptoms are shown. Do you recall meeting anyone there who was ill?”

“No,” Thor replied.

“Loki brought back a couple of books,” Tony said, “that he was showing me. He kept sneezing when one of them was out. He said it was because of the dust.”

“He spent time in Vanaheim’s library?” Eir asked.

“Yes but Loki was always in the library. He’s never gotten sick from _reading _before,” Thor said.

“Maybe it was something in the library?” Tony suggested. “Or hell, even something on the book. You’d be surprised some of the places a virus can attach itself to.”

“I am worried about the severity of his fever but I’m also concerned by his feeling cold. I would like to know what triggered his chest pain as well.”

“Can you guys get sick from Earth diseases?”

“While rare, it is possible,” she replied. “You may stay with him if you’d like. I will be back when I have the results.”

Eir left them then he and Thor returned to the room where Loki was sleeping. It was weird, the monitor stated that Loki’s temperature was 104 but he was shivering under the light blanket that had been placed over him. Thor took a seat near the bed, watching his brother in concern.

“He’ll be okay,” Tony tried to reassure Thor. “I’m sure the Doc knows what she’s doing.”

Thor nodded. “Lady Eir has been the head healer of Asgard for centuries. She is the best there is.”

“Good, then Loki’ll be just fine.” He squeezed Thor’s shoulder. “I’m going to run back and tell Pepper what’s going on and we’ll all probably come back to wait with you. If she gets back before I do with a diagnosis give me a call, okay?”

Thor nodded, his eyes completely focused on his brother. With one more squeeze to his shoulder, Tony left the room. He sent up a silent prayer that the doctors would figure out what was causing Loki’s illness soon and begin to treat it.

* * *

After Tony left, Thor continued to keep vigil over Loki. He held his brother’s hand. Ingrid came to check on Loki occasionally along with giving him medication to help combat his fever and pain. Thor was pleased to see Loki’s temperature beginning to drop.

Tony had returned with Pepper and Morgan but they remained out in the waiting room. Thor had gone to see them a couple of times. Morgan wanted to see her uncle but everyone thought it best to wait until they knew she couldn’t catch whatever it was Loki had.

Thor wasn’t sure how much time had passed but Loki’s eyes began to flutter open. They weren’t as fever bright, which was a good sign. Thor leaned over, squeezing Loki’s hand. “Brother?” he asked softly.

Loki’s head turned to him. “Thor? What happened? Where are we?”

“You’re in the hospital. You collapsed in your room. Your fever was so high you began to convulse. We brought you here so you could get help. Lady Eir is running tests to try to determine what ails you.”

A shiver ran through Loki and he curled up on his side, pushing away the melted ice packs. “I’m freezing,” he said, wrapping the thin blanket tighter around his shoulders.

Thor looked to the monitor and saw that Loki’s temperature had dropped to 99. It was still high, but nowhere near as high as it had been earlier. “I will ask if you can have another blanket. Are you in any pain?”

Loki thought about it for a moment then nodded. “It isn’t as bad as it was earlier but it’s still there.”

“In your chest?”

Again, Loki nodded. He brought a hand up and rubbed at his sternum. “I have never felt anything like this before.”

“What were you doing before it started?”

Before Loki had the chance to reply Lady Eir entered the room. A light smile graced her lips. “I am pleased to see you awake my prince. How are you feeling?”

“Cold,” Loki told her, “tired and I ache.”

She frowned slightly, reading the monitors. “You still have a fever though it is finally coming down.”

“Did you find what is causing this?” Thor asked her.

“The tests are still running,” she replied. To Loki she asked, “Was your pain sudden or something that came gradually?”

Loki thought about it. “I had ached all day but the excruciating pain I had came after I tried using my seiðr. I’ve never had that happen before.”

“How is your pain now?”

Loki’s teeth began to chatter. “It is getting worse. I’m also very cold. It is as if my insides are freezing.”

Thor shared a look with Lady Eir. Loki’s symptoms made no sense to him but he hoped they did to Lady Eir. Her expression had grown more concerned as Loki described how he felt. She closed the door to the room and pulled the curtain. “I am going to ask you to do something and I need you to do it.

“What?” Loki asked.

“Drop your Æsir form.”

Loki’s eyes bulged and his expression became panic stricken. He shook his head. “No, I-I can’t.”

“If you have what I am beginning to suspect you do then you must.”

“Please,” Loki begged, turning his head towards the pillow to hide his face. “Please don’t ask that of me.”

Lady Eir sighed softly. She left the room and returned a few moments later with a syringe in her hand. She injected the contents into the IV. “I apologize. I did not want to do this but you leave me no choice.”

“What was that you just gave him?” asked Thor.

“A suppressant,” she replied.

“_What!” _Loki cried. He reached for the IV in his arm but it was too late. A look of pure horror crossed Loki’s face as his pale skin gave way to azure. Delicate looking lines adorned the parts of his body not covered by clothing. His emerald eyes became rubies and the cry of anguish his brother let out broke Thor’s heart. Loki covered himself with the blanket, curling into a ball to hide himself from sight.

This was the first time he had ever seen Loki’s Jötunn form. What he had seen of it before Loki hid had actually been... beautiful. Even in this form Thor only saw his brother. He doubted anything would ever change that.

Thor reached for where he thought Loki’s shoulder was but stopped before actually making contact. Would Loki’s skin still burn with his fever?

As if reading his thoughts Lady Eir said, “Jötunn skin will only burn someone if they want it to. Their normal temperature is only a couple of degrees lower than ours.”

That was good to know. “Brother,” Thor began.

“Leave,” Loki pleaded. “I don’t... Please don’t look at me like this.”

“How is your pain now?” Lady Eir asked him.

“My pain?” Loki asked incredulously. “You’ve forced me to become a monster and you’re asking me about _pain?_”

Lady Eir didn’t react to Loki’s tone. “Is it better or worse?”

Loki was silent for a moment. “It’s... better?” He sounded confused by that.

Lady Eir cursed. “I’d hoped that wouldn’t be the case.”

Thor gaped at the healer at the same time Loki appeared from beneath his blanket to do the same. “You want me to feel pain?”

Lady Eir shook her head. “I did not mean it like that my prince. Unfortunately, it only helps to confirm my suspicion. I will not know definitively until the test results return but I believe you have contracted Seiðr-Eyða.”

Thor didn’t know it was possible for a Jötunn to become pale until Loki did just that. Thor felt his own heart leap into his throat.

Seiðr-Eyða was a terrible disease that was most often deadly. It had been created as a form of biological warfare back during the Æsir-Vanir war as a means to combat the Vanir Seiðrmar. Seiðrmar who contracted it normally died a long, painful death. At least, from the stories Thor had heard.

“Seiðr-Eyða,” Loki breathed. The beeping of the monitor sped up to match Loki’s rapidly beating heart.

“You will remain here until I receive the test results,” Lady Eir said. “I will make sure no one besides myself enters the room.” She pointed to Loki. “Even once the suppressant wears off, _do not_ shift back to your Ǽsir form. It will only exacerbate your condition.”

“Is there anything that can be done?” Thor asked. “A cure?”

Lady Eir shook her head. “Unfortunately, no. Seiðr-Eyða is only deadly if one continues to use their seiðr.” To Loki she said, “It will attack it should you try, that is where your pain came from and your Ǽsir form is held in place by seiðr. You know this and I’ll not have you hurt yourself further because you feel ashamed of how you were born.”

Loki flinched slightly at her words. Thor could see just how uncomfortable his brother was in his Jötunn form. Loki pulled the blanket up to his chin, “I can’t stay like this.”

Lady Eir’s expression softened a little. “The color of your skin does not denote who you are, my prince.” She made an adjustment to one of the machines Loki was hooked up to. “You require rest and _no _seiðr. A suppressant, in the long run, will only do more harm than good. I will monitor your fever, as I am sure it will spike again. All we can do is wait and hope your body will fight off the disease. Then we need to determine where you came into contact with it.”

That drew Thor’s attention and Loki’s as well. “What do you mean?” Thor asked.

“Seiðr-Eyða isn’t something one simply gets. Neither is it passed person to person. It’s more like a poison than a disease in how it’s introduced.”

“Are you saying someone gave this to Loki on purpose?”

She nodded. “It is the only way he could have contracted it. It can be airborne but the radius for it is small, only a few feet from the source. Much of the time it is introduced through ingestion.”

Thor felt his stomach flip. Someone had purposefully given his brother an illness that, were he not careful with his seiðr, would kill him. He couldn’t lose Loki again, that would destroy him.

“As I’ve said, we will not know for certain until the test results come back. I am hoping that will be soon. For the time being, stay here and rest. I will be back once I have the results.”

Lady Eir left the room, keeping the curtain pulled and closing the door behind her. Thor turned to his brother, studying what little of him he could see.

“Stop staring at me,” Loki said softly.

Thor looked away, a blush coloring his cheeks. “Sorry,” he said. “It’s just... I’ve never seen you in your true form.”

Loki’s shoulders drew up as he tensed. “My _true form,_” the amount of venom in his voice startled Thor. Loki turned his head, ruby eyes boring into Thor. They shined with unshed tears, from frustration or sadness Thor didn’t know. “The monster, revealed for all to see.”

Thor stood to lean against the bed rail. “You’re not a monster Loki.”

“Aren’t I?” Loki threw back the blanket. “Look at me. Tell me your first instinct isn’t to kill me, or perhaps run screaming.”

“It’s neither,” Thor said honestly. “You’re my brother, no matter what form you take.”

Loki seemed to deflate. “You know, I’ve never actually seen myself in this form. It doesn’t feel right. When that giant grabbed my arm and changed me for the first time, I didn’t know what to think. When my whole form changed from touching the Casket,” he shuddered, “it felt _wrong._” His voice was barely above a whisper when he said, “It still feels wrong.”

Thor lowered the rail so he could sit on the bed. He pulled Loki into his arms. His brother’s skin was cool, like he’d been sitting under a fan for too long. “I’m not going to say whether it’s wrong or not. That’s what you feel.

“After you fell from the Bifröst and father and mother told me about your origins I thought they were playing a cruel joke on me at first. I thought, they were making an excuse for what had happened. It was their fault, they should have told you the truth long ago. If I had been in your position, I don’t know what I would have done.

“I remember wandering the halls aimlessly for days, trying to wrap my head around what they had told me. None of it had made sense. All I knew was that my brother was gone. I didn’t know how to survive in a world without you in it.”

They remained silent for a while, listening to the hum of the equipment. After a time Loki asked, “How can you see me as anything but a monster?”

“Why do you only see yourself as one?” Thor countered.

Loki shifted against Thor’s shoulder. “I can’t help it. I think about the stories we were told as children and my own crimes. I don’t want to be a monster, I don’t want to think of myself as one but... I’m terrified there is something inside me that I can’t control, that if I let my guard down it’ll take over and I’ll go back to being the creature Thanos first sent here. I never want to be that again.”

Thor squeezed Loki lightly. “I don’t think that’s anything you ever have to worry about. If you were truly a monster do you really think so many would adore you?”

Loki snorted. “Zero must be a rather large number to you.”

Thor shook his head, not entirely certain Loki was making a bad joke. The tone of Loki’s voice finally registered to Thor. “Do you truly not see?”

“See what? How everyone looks at me? Yes Thor, I do see that. I see the fear in their eyes. Fear that I’ll let my true nature take over and destroy everything. That I’ll once more try to conquer them and this whole world.”

Thor didn’t know what to do. He hadn’t ever realized his brother’s self-hatred ran so deep. “I do see fear but not for the reasons you’re thinking. Loki, for the past several years you’ve taken care of them. Our people are afraid _for _you, not of you. They fear you don’t take care of yourself the way you should since you’re so busy keeping me sane.”

Loki snorted, raising his head to look at Thor. “Really?” He asked. “What do you think the reaction would be if I walked through town right now looking like this or even out that door? The women and children would flee while the men tried to kill me.”

Thor hated that his brother was right. Loki’s origins had never been revealed to the rest of the kingdom. “What about Tony and Pepper?” He continued on. “They think of us, of you, as family. And Morgan,” here Thor pouted slightly, “that little girl practically worships the ground you walk on. Which is so unfair.

“I love you, they love you and so do our people. You’ve taken care of everyone a lot more than you ever should have had to and we all know that. I’m sorry I put such a burden on you and haven’t been as helpful as I should have.”

Loki picked at the skin of his hands, a familiar nervous habit he’d picked up from their mother. “You truly don’t see me as a monster?”

“I’ve never thought of you like that. A pain in the ass but aren’t little brothers supposed to be?” Thor pulled back so he could really see Loki’s face. “Who your birth parents are means _nothing_. It never has and it never will. You are _Odinson_, you are my _brother, _and that’s all that matters. That’s all that’s ever mattered.”

Loki looked away and Thor saw a myriad of emotions play out across his face. “I don’t know if I’ll ever believe that about myself.” He pulled his blanket back around his shoulders. “I want to go home.”

“I know you do,” Thor sighed as Loki hid most of his face in Thor’s shoulder. “Hopefully Lady Eir will release you soon. Morgan has been asking about you. She’s been drawing you pictures all evening.” He adjusted the blanket around Loki, knowing his brother wanted to be hidden. “They are all out in the waiting room. Would you let Morgan come and see you are okay?”

Loki pulled back with a gasp. The terror in his ruby eyes killed Thor. “No,” Loki said with a shake of his head. “No, they can’t see me like this.”

“Loki—”

“No Thor. I won’t let them see my like this. I refuse to terrify Morgan.”

“You wouldn’t. She knows you’re a shapeshifter. She’d probably just think that’s all you’re doing?”

Loki scoffed. “Right, because I would purposefully turn myself into _this.” _

Thor felt like he was arguing with a wall. “Fine, but you can be the one to explain to her why you didn’t want to see her.”

Loki flinched. He brought a hand up, rubbing at his mouth.

“What are you doing?”

“Well if you’re going to guilt me into letting Morgan see me I want to make sure my fangs aren’t prominent.”

Thor’s eyebrows drew together in confusion. “Do Jötunn have fangs?”

“Why wouldn’t they? They have to eat Æsir somehow.”

Now Thor rolled his eyes. “We both know those stories were only told to scare children. There is no truth to them.”

“Isn’t there?”

“Are you telling me you have a craving for my flesh?”

“Norns no,” Loki snorted. “Not only could that statement be completely misconstrued, you would taste terrible.”

Thor cocked his head to the side. “You know, you don’t really look like the other Jötunn we’ve encountered.”

“In what way am I different from the rest of the barbarians?”

“You have hair.”

Loki blinked up at him in confusion. “Of course I have hair.”

Thor shook his head. “Maybe it’s just their warriors or they shave their heads but none of the ones we met on Jötunheim had hair. Now that I think about it, Laufey didn’t either. They all had horns.”

Loki’s eyes grew wide and he reached his hands up into his hair. “I have horns,” he squeaked.

“Not that I can see, unless they’re hidden by your hair.”

“Dear gods, as if this can’t get any worse.”

The door opened to admit Lady Eir before Thor could respond. By the look on her face she did not appear to have good news.

“I have your results back,” she said without preamble. “You do have Seiðr-Eyða but it is unlike any strain I have seen before.”

“What does that mean?” asked Loki.

“It means whomever it was that created it did so with a purpose. This strain was targeted specifically to you. I have no way of knowing how this will differ from the original strain.”

“But it’s still deadly.”

“I will not lie to you, it does appear so. Which is why I stress no using your seiðr.”

“I’m trapped here then,” Loki said dejectedly. “Like this.”

“Can I bring him home?” Thor asked. He knew that if Loki were going to be forced to remain in his Jötunn form, he would rather do so somewhere he felt safe.

Lady Eir did not look pleased with the idea, yet she relented. “I will allow it.” She addressed Loki, “I will visit you regularly,” she held up a finger to him, “and if your condition worsens I don’t care, Jötunn form or not, I will bring you back here. Am I clear?”

Loki nodded. “I’m not leaving here like this.” He looked to Thor. “What if someone sees me?”

Thor shared a look with the healer. “How about I bring you your hoodie?” He asked as he turned back to his brother.”

Loki sighed, “I suppose it’ll have to do.”

Thor smiled, “I’ll be back in a few. Please try to be a good patient.”

“No promises.”

Thor squeezed Loki’s shoulder, shared another look with Lady Eir then left to get something for Loki to wear home.

* * *

After Thor closed the door behind him Loki asked Lady Eir, “What is it you didn’t tell us?”

Lady Eir folded her hands in front of her. “Even with no use of seiðr your symptoms will progressively get worse. You are a very powerful Seiðrmar, my prince and this disease has been manufactured specifically due to that. It is why it took so long for your results to return. I needed time to study what made it so different. Given how powerful you are, this will target your seiðr whether or not you use it.”

“And still just as deadly.”

“I fear it may be even more so, given the virus’ genetic makeup.”

He could see why she hadn’t said anything while Thor was in the room. His brother would not take the news well. “I’m going to die.”

“Not if I can help it,” growled Lady Eir. “You mustn’t give up.”

It was a little hard not to with what he knew of the disease. After all he had been through and survived, to know the very thing he needed to live would now be what killed him. It was poetic; his seiðr had made him an outcast for so long. The warriors would gloat to know this. He just hated that he would be leaving his brother alone in the end.

He gave her his best smile, fake as it was. “I won’t.”

By the look in her eyes, he wasn’t sure she was entirely convinced. “I will leave you to rest then.”

She left the room and Loki lay back, starting up at the ceiling. Seiðr-Eyða. Of all the things Loki could have imagined would kill him, the Mage disease had been the last thing he would have thought of.

There were things he would need to take care of before he lost his mind to the pain. He would have to try and speak to Tony and Pepper in private. His death would hit Thor hard and he wanted to make sure they would be there for his brother.

Loki sighed and lifted up his hand to examine it. His azure skin still made him want to vomit. His black fingernails didn’t look like claws which surprised him a little and his heritage lines looked rather delicate. He’d always thought the lines had been scars the Giants would carve into their flesh. He lowered his hand and drew the blanket back up over himself. He wished he’d thought to ask Lady Eir why he was still so cold if he’d taken the form of a monster.

The bone deep ache began to work its way through his body once more. Loki rolled over and in doing so caught a flash of pale skin. He brought his hand up once more to see he’d taken on his Ǽsir form again. The suppressant must have worn off but Loki knew he hadn’t consciously shifted back.

_I’ve held this form for so long,_ he thought. It wasn’t too surprising that he would shift back to it the moment he was able. Besides, Loki would rather suffer a dull ache as opposed to someone walking in while he looked so horrific.

He was not surprised in the least at the disapproving look Lady Eir gave him upon her return. “I thought I told you _no _seiðr.”

It was rather easy to make himself look pathetic. “I did not do this on purpose. Truthfully I hadn’t realized I had changed until a few moments ago.”

Lady Eir shook her head. “I did not believe you had. You have held your Æsir form subconsciously since you were a babe. It is the form you will always return to.” She reviewed the monitors. “You need to return to your Jötunn form. You will need to suppress your seiðr.”

Loki sat up, adjusting the blanket around his waist. He concentrated on drawing his seiðr deep within himself. He could feel his pain beginning to lessen but not by much. He watched his hand, waiting for the blue to reappear. Nothing happened. His brow furrowed in confusion and he looked up at Lady Eir. “I don’t think I can change back.”

“My prince,” Lady Eir began, “is it possible it’s not that you cannot change, it’s you do not want to.”

“Of course I don’t _want _to,” he snapped. “I never want to be one of those _things _but I have to if I want a chance to survive, right?” He clenched his fists in the blanket, dropping his gaze to his lap. “The thought of what I am sickens me.”

“And what is that, exactly?” The anger in Lady Eir’s tone surprised Loki. “What do you think you are?”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

“To you, perhaps, but I believe your view of yourself is skewed.”

“I’m,” he practically choked on the word, “Jötunn.”

Lady Eir shrugged. “Your point?”

He stared at her in disbelief. “You know what they are. You saw firsthand the evil they brought during the war.” He looked away again, this time with shame. “You know what I have done.”

She pulled the nearby stool closer and sat. “I do. I know of the destruction you have wrought,” he flinched slightly, “but I also know those deeds do not define who you truly are.”

“How can they not?”

“Are you saying that the last ten years of your life are the only ones that matter? That they negate the last _thousand _you have lived? You are a good person my prince, whether you see it or not changes nothing.” She looked to the door. “Your brother should be back soon. While you are resting, I want you to think about who _you _are. Not the Jötunn. Not the Æsir. _You._”

He nodded. He already knew what he was and truly, he wasn’t impressed. All he could do was control the darkness he knew dwelled deep inside. Not that it would matter in the long run anyway. He would be dead within the week at most.

Lady Eir reached out and gave his hand a light squeeze. “I have known you since your father first smuggled you into Asgard as a babe. I remember the bright, curious child who wanted to learn everything. Who followed his brother on sometimes ill-fated adventures and who could charm the pants off of anyone without them realizing.”

His lips pulled up slightly in remembrance. “You kicked me out of the healing halls more than once for being annoying.”

“Not annoying,” she said, leaning back, “underfoot. Also, you were only in your two-hundredth year and my healers would rather coo over you then attend their duties. I had to get them back to work somehow.”

He remembered he and Thor using their childish cuteness to their advantage in their youth. It had gotten them out of trouble on more than one occasion.

Thor finally returned along with the rest of their family. Morgan pushed past him and started to climb onto the bed. Loki helped her when it became obvious she couldn’t pull herself up completely. She tucked herself against his side. “Are you better now Ki?” she asked.

“Not yet,” Loki said. He felt his chest tighten and tears threated when he realized he would not see her grow. He made sure he kept his voice steady when he continued, “but I will be.”

“Did they give you icky medicine?”

He made a face, “the worst.”

“I’ve brought you your jacket,” Thor said holding up the garment, “and your shoes.”

“I suggested those since we kind of left in a hurry,” Tony said.

“Thank you,” Loki said. He took the jacket from his brother as Lady Eir carefully removed the IV from his arm then put it on and shifted so he could put his shoes on as well.

“I am only allowing you to leave because I feel you would be more comfortable healing at home,” Lady Eir said. “While I would rather you remain here I know I have a better chance of catching a hurricane in a butterfly net.”

“You can do that?” Morgan asked in awe.

“No, she’s just jesting.”

“I mean it Loki Odinson,” ouch first and last name, “if your fever spikes or your symptoms become worse I do not care what form you are in you will come back here for treatment. Is that understood?”

“Yes,” Loki agreed. He knew he would become progressively more ill as time went on. He only needed a few days to get his things in order. Thor helped him from the bed and together they all finally left the hospital.

Thor wrapped the blanket they had originally brought with them around Loki’s shoulders to keep him warm. “Are you sure you want to walk brother? We can get the car?”

Loki shook his head, “It’s only a few minutes. I’ll survive.”

Thor didn’t look pleased but didn’t argue any further. Once back at the house Loki promptly returned to his bed, glad to finally be back where he was safe from the prying eyes of New Asgard. He didn’t have to wait long for someone to interrupt him.

To his surprise, it was Pepper. “I won’t bother you for long. I just wanted to bring you something to drink.” She sat on the bed beside him. “Are you feeling any better?”

“I am, actually.” He gave her a weak smile. “Still cold but I don’t think that’s going away anytime soon.”

“I can bring you tea if you’d like.”

“No, but thank you.” He was silent for a moment as he thought of his next words. “Pepper, there’s something I need to talk to you and Tony about and you can’t tell Thor.”

She looked confused. “What is it?”

“This illness that I have… There is no cure and,” he lifted up his gaze to meet hers, “it’s deadly. Very few have survived it.”

She looked stricken by his words and he hated having done that to her. They had already lost so much and it still amazed him to know that he meant so much to someone other than his brother. She stood and left the room.

Loki watched her go. He was sure he was in for a lecture soon. He should have known this would not end well. When Pepper returned, she had Tony with her. She closed the door behind them. “I have Thor watching Morgan.” The look in her eye was fierce and Loki had the urge to back slowly away from her, not that he had anywhere to go. She folded her arms across her chest. “Talk.”

“Uh Pep,” Tony said, looking confused. “What’s going on?”

“Loki said he needed to talk to us.”

“Okay… but what’s with the anger?”

“He sounded very fatalistic.” Her eyebrow rose. To Loki she said, “Which had better not be the case with whatever you want to talk about.”

Loki sat up to lean against the headboard. “Seiðr-Eyða is deadly, about ninety-five percent of the time. According to Lady Eir, the strain I have appears to have been created specifically to me. There is no cure for Seiðr-Eyða either.”

Now Tony was beginning to look angry. “You better not be saying what I think you’re saying.”

“I wish it was different but it’s not. This _will _kill me. I…” he looked away from them. “I just wanted to let you know. I was hoping you’d keep an eye on Thor. He isn’t going to take this well.”

“_We’re_ not going to take this any better,” Pepper said.

“How in God’s name are we supposed to explain this to Morgan?” Tony asked.

“I wish I had answers for you but I don’t,” Loki said, feeling helpless. “I can’t survive without my seiðr.”

“You survived a broken neck,” Tony said, “because your magic voo-doo powers healed you. Why can’t it do that now?”

Loki closed his eyes and took a breath, hoping to curtail his raising frustration. “Seiðr-Eyða destroys seiðr.” He opened his eyes again. “That’s what it roughly translates to in English: Seiðr-_Destroyer._ It will attack the seiðr in my blood until there is nothing left. The more I use my magic the faster the disease will progress.” He shook his head. “I honestly don’t know how long it will take but I suspect I’ll be dead by the end of the week.”

The anger seemed to drain out of both Tony and Pepper only to be replaced by sadness. “I refuse to accept that,” Pepper said softly.

“I don’t believe it either,” Tony said. “You just said this thing was created specifically for you, so you’re talking about some kind of bio warfare right? If that’s the case there has to be some way to cure it.”

“There isn’t.”

“How do you know that?”

Loki huffed, “Fine, say there is a possibility. It will not do me any good. By the time anyone could isolate where I even picked this up let alone determine a way to cure it I’d already be dead.”

Tony’s eyes narrowed. Loki had known the man long enough to know he’d taken that as a challenge and he planned on doing everything in his power to beat it. “You want to take that bet?”

“Tony!” Pepper admonished.

“What? I’m not just going to let him die Pep.” He moved over to Loki and poked him hard in the chest. “And don’t you dare think about giving up.”

Loki flinched. “I’m not.”

“Really? Cause that’s what I could have sworn I was hearing. ‘Take care of my brother.’ ‘I’m going to die.’ Yeah, real reassuring on that front.”

“I’m not giving up, I’m being realistic.”

“Yeah well,” Tony crossed his arms and glared down at him, “I reject your reality and substitute my own.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s not how it works.”

“Don’t care.”

“Look, I’m not giving up. I do hope I’ll be able to overcome this but I also know what it will do. The pain I had earlier is nothing compared to what I will experience as this eats away at my seiðr. I don’t _want _to die. I don’t want to leave Thor alone. I’m…” He couldn’t stop his tears from falling, “I’m _happy. _For the first time in years, I’m happy. I look forward to the future.” He wiped at his eyes futilely. “I look forward to watching Morgan grow, to seeing New Asgard begin to heal. I want to be here to see these things but I’m realistic enough to know the chances are so slim that I’ll survive that they may as well not exist.”

Pepper sat and pulled him into her arms. He sobbed quietly against her shoulder. “We’ll be here with you, no matter what happens. Just don’t give up.”

His voice watery, he replied, “Okay.”

Tony seemed to deflate a little but his expression turned curious. “You didn’t start getting sick until you started messing with that book. I wonder if that’s where it came from.” He shrugged, “Won’t hurt to check.” Tony nodded to himself. “Definitely first place to start. I’ll get a sample of the dust and take it to Eir, see what she says. If this thing came via bio warfare then maybe a retrovirus can be created to fight it.”

Now both Loki and Pepper looked at Tony like he’d grown a second head. “Since when did you become a doctor?”

“Oh, I didn’t.” Tony said. “But you’d be surprised what you can learn from Google. That and I’m a genius and I hacked every biotech research center I could after we left the hospital.”

Pepper shook her head, clearly not surprised by her husband’s antics. She hugged Loki once more, brushing his hair back from his face and not being discrete in the least about checking his temperature. “Your fever seems to have finally broken. You actually seem a little cool.”

That must have been his Jötunn physiology rearing its ugly head. As much as he didn’t want to accelerate his condition he wanted to revert to his natural born from even less. He tugged at his comforter. “Time to curl back up then, I suppose.”

He lay down again and Pepper tucked the blanket around him. For a moment, he was reminded of his mother. He missed his mother fiercely and wished she were there. “Try and sleep,” Pepper said. “We’ll be back to check on you.”

Loki nodded, already feeling his eyes begin to droop. One thing he hated about being ill, besides being ill in general, was how quickly he was worn out. At least if he was asleep he would, hopefully, not feel the pain. He held to that pleasant thought as he drifted off.

* * *

Loki awoke briefly the few times he was checked on. His pain was steadily getting worse and the painkillers Lady Eir had given Thor for Loki to take only helped for a little while. Thor had urged his brother to drop his Ǽsir form and as much as Loki had tried, he just couldn’t do it. It would figure that the one form he couldn’t shift to was the one he was born in.

He drifted in and out of wakefulness on his own from time to time. He lost all semblance of time and no longer knew if it was still the same day or if many days had passed. The next time he became awake enough to truly be aware of his surroundings he realized that someone had turned the thermostat to its highest level, which was apparently Surface-of-the-Sun, and was currently roasting him alive. He threw back the blankets and enjoyed the blessedly cool breeze doing so created.

Without even bothering to open his eyes, he pulled off his shirt as well and tossed it away. That was much better.

“Are you awake Ki?”

Loki blinked his eyes open and turned his head to see Morgan sitting on the floor beside his bed, paper and crayons strewn around her. “I am now,” he replied, his voice still a little groggy sounding. “Who turned the heat up?”

Morgan shrugged, “I’m not hot.”

His fever must have come back. “What are you doing in here little one?”

She stopped her coloring. “I wanted to stay with you and Mommy said I could if I didn’t wake you up.” Her eyes widened. “Did I wake you up?”

“No,” he said with a shake of his head. It was then he noticed she had drawn on her arms with marker, blue marker. “Morgan,” he began, starting to worry, “why are your arms blue?”

“Oh,” she held her arms out in front of her, “I wanted to be blue like you too.” Her little mouth drew down in a frown, “Mommy said I couldn’t make my face blue.”

Loki shot up and looked down at himself, seeing that hated skin once more on display. He reached for the shirt he had tossed away in his carelessness and put it back on. “How long have I been like this?”

She shrugged, her expression confused at his actions. “I don’ know. You were sleeping an’ then you sneezed and turned blue.” She tilted her head to the side. “Do your eyes hurt Ki? They’re all red.”

“No,” he pulled his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. “No, they don’t hurt.” Loki despaired; he would die in the form of a monster. His eyes began to swell with tears.

Morgan stood, concern replacing confusion. “I’m sorry.” Her own eyes filled with tears.

“For what?”

“I made you sad. I’m sorry, I didn’ mean to make you sad.”

“You didn’t make me sad sweetheart,” he forced himself to uncurl and carefully pulled her to him, still partly afraid his skin would burn her. “I just don’t like being blue.”

“How come?”

“Because… because a long time ago monsters with skin like this came to your world and did very bad things to the people here.”

Morgan curled against him, her marker covered hands playing with one of his. She poked at his black fingernails. “But you’re not a monster.”

How he wished that were so. She did not know the full extent of his crimes. The things he had done to survive… “How do you know?”

“You’re too nice to be a monster Ki.”

_I’m really not,_ he thought. He didn’t say that aloud, lest he scare her. That was the last thing he ever wanted to do. It was one reason why he’d never wanted her to see him in this form.

Morgan began to trace the delicate lines on his arms, pushing the sleeve of his shirt up to see more. “What are these?”

“They’re called heritage lines.”

“Why you gotz them?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know.” Her fingers neared his elbow and he twitched from the ticklish feeling her fingers produced. “You don’t think I look scary?”

She laughed, tipping her head back to look up at him. “No silly. I like your blue. It’s pretty.” She twisted, nearly elbowing his groin. “Will you braid my hair? You do it better than mommy.” She put a finger to her lips. “Don’t tell her that.”

Loki couldn’t help but smile. “Of course I’ll braid your hair.” He narrowed his eyes conspiratorially, “I won’t tell your mother either.” He ran his fingers through her hair. “Go get your brush.”

Morgan gave him a quick squeeze before hopping from the bed to retrieve her hairbrush. When she returned, she had followers.

“She didn’t wake you, did she?” Pepper asked as Morgan climbed back onto the bed.

“No,” Loki replied, having a hard time meeting her eyes. He adjusted how he sat so he could more easily do Morgan’s hair. He began to brush it, “One braid or two?” he asked Morgan.

“Two,” Morgan said.

“How are you feeling?” Pepper asked, moving closer to the bed. “Any better?”

Loki shrugged as he parted Morgan’s hair down the middle to begin braiding. “Hot but that isn’t surprising. How long have I been…?” He made a vague gesture.

“It’s Friday. You slept all yesterday and most of today. You need the rest so no one was going to disturb you.”

“How long have I been like this?”

“Like what? Blue?”

He nodded.

Pepper shrugged as she took a seat at the end of the bed. “Couple of hours. I had no idea what Morgan was talking about when she started to draw all over herself because she ‘wants to be like Ki’.”

From the doorway, Thor shuffled his feet. “It is kind of adorable.”

Loki cocked an eyebrow and turned his gaze to glare at his brother. “Adorable?” A sudden thought came to mind and Loki swore he could literally feel his blood freeze. “You didn’t take pictures, did you?”

Thor’s eyes bulged, “No, no pictures. I know how much you hate this form brother. I wouldn’t do that to you.”

A wave of relief came over him. The last thing he needed was for anyone else to see this disgusting form. He returned to braiding Morgan’s hair. “Good.”

Loki could hear his brother shuffle his feet again. “How is the pain?”

“Gone for now,” Loki replied. He knew his current form was due to his seiðr drawing itself further within in an attempt to keep the Seiðr-Eyða from attacking it. However, now that he thought about it he was surprised he hadn’t shifted back since he was awake once more. His fingers stilled. What if he was stuck in this form forever? He could feel his heart speed up at the thought but he forced himself to continue the braid.

“That’s good.” Thor paused at the sound of a door slamming. “Sounds like Tony’s back.”

“Where did he go?” Loki asked.

“He’s been with Lady Eir trying to track down the source of your infection. He took the tome over to her for examination. He’s been gone most of yesterday and today.”

Loki flinched slightly as he finished off the first of Morgan’s braid. “I’m sorry I ruined the holiday.”

“You didn’t ruin it. We’ll just pick another day,” Pepper said.

“Hello!” Tony’s voice called from the hallway. “Where is everyone?” His head poked around the door frame and his eyebrows shot up when he saw Loki. “Hey, you’re awake… and blue. Holy shit dude, you’re blue.”

“Tony!” Pepper cried.

“Daddy said a bad word!” Morgan laughed.

Tony seemed to ignore them all. “Why are you blue?” To Thor he asked, “Are you really blue to? Have you been holding out on me?”

“I’m not blue,” Thor said. “Loki only looks like that because…” he trailed off, apparently not sure how to finish that sentence.

“Is it because of the virus? Eir did say it would screw with his magic.”

“Um…”

Loki sighed in frustration. Might as well rip the Band-Aid off, per se. “I look like this because this is how I was born. I’m a Frost Giant and the Frost Giants are horrible _disgusting _creatures who care for nothing but the destruction they bring. They came here a thousand years ago with the intention of wiping out your entire race so they could take Midgard for themselves nearly bringing about another ice age. They killed everyone within their sight, including their own who they felt were weak and _unworthy _and my seiðr is dying and I can’t change back to my Ǽsir form so I’m going to die looking like the _fucking monster that I am!_”

The room was silent but for Loki’s heavy breathing. He blinked his vision clear, feeling tears slide down his cheeks as he did so. Morgan looked up at him with wide brown eyes, her unbraided hair falling over her shoulder. “Ki?”

Loki’s chest tightened. The fear in her eyes was something he’d never wanted to see. He’d tried so hard to keep the evil at bay and now it was finally being reflected for all to see. He pulled his hands back from where they’d been hovering after Morgan’s hair had slipped from his fingers and hugged himself.

Morgan shifted until she was kneeling on his crossed ankles. “What’s that mean? Die? Mommy, what’s die?”

When Loki chanced a glance at the others, they looked just as stricken as he felt but they didn’t look angry or afraid of him they looked… sad. Tony ran a hand down his face, turning away. Thor looked like he’d been punched in the chest and Pepper… Pepper looked a cross between furious and distressed.

Pepper glared at him momentarily then turned to her daughter. “To die is to stop being. It means… to no longer exist.”

“Do you remember what I told you about our mother having to go away?” Loki asked Morgan. The little girl nodded, “That’s what dying means.”

“You are not going to die,” Thor said.

Loki scoffed, “Come now brother, you know as well as I do that I have no chance of surviving this.”

“You’re gonna to go away and never come back?” Morgan asked, confused.

“Yes.”

_“You’re not dying!”_ yelled Thor.

Morgan threw herself at him. “No! You can’t go away,” she wailed. “No Ki! You can’t go, you can’t!”

This had not been the reaction he’d been expecting. He’d seen her fear but it had never occurred to him that it came from being afraid for him, not of him. “I don’t want to,” he told her softly, “but I don’t have a choice.”

“Of course you do,” Thor argued. “You just have to give us time. Tony and Lady Eir are working on a way to help you.”

“Actually,” Tony said, leaning against the doorframe. “We went over the tome cover to cover. There were traces of the virus on it but…” He shook his head. “There must have been a built in kill on it because the virus on the book is too degraded to work with. If we could get our hands on the original virus Eir said she should be able to create a retrovirus to counter the one already in your system.”

Loki couldn’t believe it. “But Seiðr-Eyða—”

“Apparently it isn’t actually that, it’s just mimicking it. Mimicking it _a lot_. Same symptoms and potentially the same outcome as the original thing but Eir says there are enough differences between the two strains that she’s confident she could cure you.”

“So Ki’s not gonna go away?” asked Morgan in a watery voice.

“No.”

Loki wasn’t able to bring himself to hope. As gently as he could he pushed Morgan away from him. He stood shakily, looking at each of them in turn. They didn’t understand. None of them did and they would not leave him in peace. Loki turned from them, fought against the pain and teleported himself away from them all.

* * *

_“Loki!”_

Thor stared in disbelief as his brother disappeared in a flash of green.

“Ki!” Morgan cried. The terror in the little girl’s eyes mirrored his own. “Ki, where’s Ki? Ki! _Ki!”_

Thor sprinted from the room. Loki couldn’t have gotten far, the disease wouldn’t allow for that. The pain alone would render Loki unconscious. If he’d even made it back out from within the veil. Dear Norns, what if his brother was caught between worlds? They would have no way of finding him.

_Where would he go? _Thor wondered. _Think, you idiot, think! Where would Loki go to escape? _That could be anywhere. What was close? _The garden! _Yes, the plants had withered with the season but that was one place they both went to escape.

Thor didn’t bother with a coat as he ran from the house. He heard footsteps following him, from the tread it sounded like Tony but Thor didn’t look back to check. Snow crunched under his boots and he nearly fell a couple of times due to his haste. “Loki!” he shouted.

He caught a flash of blue as he rounded the bend to the main part of the garden where their mother’s tree grew. At the base of it was the unconscious form of his brother. Thor slid to the ground, the cold of the snow barely registering.

Loki lay face down and Thor turned him onto his back. Loki’s breathing was shallow and sweat beaded his forehead. His brother’s cheeks were an indigo color. Thor could feel the heat radiating off Loki. His fever was dangerously high. It had to come down, now!

Tony slid to a stop beside Loki’s head. “For the love of God, tell me he’s alive.”

“He is, but his fever burns too high. I don’t know if we can make it to the hospital.”

Tony grabbed handfuls of snow and began to bury Loki. “Snows cold and there’s a shit-ton of it around us. Start packin’.”

Thor’s hands shook as he worked. His fear for his brother was overwhelming. Distantly he heard Pepper calling them.

“We found him!” Tony yelled back. “Call Eir, tell her to get here ASAP.”

They continued packing as much snow around Loki as they could. Loki twitched then moaned, his eyes beginning to flutter. Thor leaned over his brother. “Loki?”

Bleary, ruby eyes moved around. “Thor?”

“Yes brother, I’m here.”

Tears fell from Loki’s eyes, “It hurts.” Loki’s breath shuddered and his body began to shake as he started to cry. “Thor, it hurts. I’m cold, it hurts.”

He shared a quick, distressed look with Tony before digging his fingers through the snow to grip Loki’s hand. “I know. Pepper’s gone for help.”

Loki shook his head, strands of hair sticking to his face. He tried to break free of the snow they had placed around him. He began to tremble and his teeth to chatter. Thor couldn’t believe his eyes. “Loki, are you really cold?”

Loki nodded as his shivering became worse.

Thor felt his brother’s forehead but his fingers were so cold he couldn’t tell for sure just how warm Loki was.

“That’s not unusual with a fever,” Tony said.

Thor knew that but he also knew that being Jötunn the cold shouldn’t affect his brother so. Then again, now that Thor thought about it, Loki had always hated the cold. It was a puzzle he could work out later. For now, he had to do all he could to help his brother.

Loki weakly tried to move away from the snow Thor and Tony had covered him in. They both did what they could to keep him covered. “Your fever is too high Loki,” Thor said, packing more snow behind Loki’s neck, “it needs to come down.”

Loki moaned, trying to sit up. “No… go… I need… I need…”

“I think he’s delirious,” Tony said, helping to keep Loki from removing the snow.

Suddenly Loki went limp and his harsh breathing stopped. “Loki?” Thor fretted. The small puffs of condensation from Loki’s mouth the only sign of his continued breathing. Loki didn’t respond to Thor but to blink unfocused eyes up at him.

The crunching of footsteps in the snow alerted them to others coming. Thor turned quickly to see Lady Eir rushing towards them. Lady Eir’s robes pooled around her as she knelt beside them. “Help him,” Thor begged, “please.”

“I will do all that I can,” Lady Eir said. She did a quick assessment of Loki. “What were you thinking?” she asked the unresponsive prince. She produced tools Thor didn’t recognize then injected something into Loki’s veins.

Loki screamed, his blood curdling cries chilling Thor to his bones. He began to thrash about. Thor and Tony grabbed at Loki’s limbs in an attempt to keep him from hurting himself. Lady Eir gave Loki something more and Loki’s eyes rolled up as he went limp once more.

“I’ve given him a powerful sedative,” Lady Eir explained. “This should allow us time to return to the house.”

Thor pulled his brother to him, not caring at all at the snow now seeping into his clothing. He carried Loki back to the house as quickly as he could. Pepper met them at the door, holding a hysterical Morgan. He didn’t have time to stop as he brought Loki back to his room. He stripped off his wet clothing before lying him back in his bed.

Thor stepped back to allow Lady Eir to continue her work. To his eyes, Loki looked more gray than blue. “I couldn’t stop him,” Thor blurted out.

Lady Eir never took her eyes off her patient. “You would not have been able to my king.” She took a small sample of blood, the blue in the vile screaming _wrong_ in Thor’s mind though he knew Jötunn blood was not red.

“I have administered a suppressant as well. He will not be able to use his seiðr should he awaken. I do not believe he will. I need to return to the hospital for some equipment. I feel it would be best to place your brother into a medically induced coma. I think it will be the best chance he will have for survival.”

Thor nodded, barely registering her words. “He seemed fine,” Thor said, his voice rough. It was what he’d wanted to believe. “He said he was going to die.”

“If we cannot find a live source of his infection, he will die.”

Thor started at her blunt statement. “What?”

Lady Eir finished what she was doing and turned to face Thor fully. “Seiðr-Eyða in the normal course of the disease will cause fever and pain in the patient as it eats away at their seiðr. It is generally a very slow process, sometimes taking weeks before the patient succumbs. It will also cause hallucinations in the later stages.” Her expression became stricken. “I did not take into account just how powerful Prince Loki is. His seiðr aids in his healing processes. In this case, the more it tried to heal him, the faster the disease did its damage. What should take weeks, will only take days. If we are to find a way to cure him we need to do it soon. I _need _a live version of the virus.”

Thor felt as if the world had fallen out from under him. This couldn’t be happening, it just couldn’t. He looked to Loki, who appeared so very small in his bed. Where would Thor even begin to start looking?

Realization struck him like a blow and he knew what he had to do. He moved over to the bed and leaned in to place a kiss on Loki’s forehead. “I will return brother,” he whispered. “Hold on a little longer.”

He gave Lady Eir a nod then left the room. He grabbed Stormbreaker from his room, his armor forming around him as he went. In the living room, he found Pepper trying to comfort Morgan and Tony pacing back and forth. “I’m going to Vanaheim,” he announced.

“You’re what?” Tony asked, his look of surprise mirrored by his wife.

“Loki picked up the tome while we were in Vanaheim. It only makes sense that whomever it was that exposed Loki to the disease had to have been there. They may even be there still. It’s the best place to look.”

“I’ll go with you,” Tony said.

Thor opened his mouth to protest but stopped before any words passed his lips. There really was no reason to argue with his friend. Besides, it might give them an advantage to have Tony come along.

“I’ve called Happy,” Pepper said. “He’s going to come and bring some portable medical equipment for Loki. I don’t understand his behavior at his form but I’m not going to subject him to any more people around him than needed. Eir seems to know what she’s doing and in the brief period I spoke to her said it would be safer to keep Loki here as it is. Happy will be here in a few hours.”

Thor gave her a weak smile. He turned his head when Tony came up beside him, his ARC reactor glowing on his chest. Tony raised an eyebrow at him, “What? You didn’t think I was going unarmored did you?” Tony quickly said goodbye to his wife and daughter.

Thor put Stormbreaker down so he could kneel before Morgan, who was crying against her mother’s chest. “I need you to do something for me while I’m gone Morgan, can you do that?”

Morgan turned to him, pushing her hair from her tear stained cheeks. “Huh?”

“Keep an eye on Loki. You think you can keep him safe?”

She nodded vigorously. “I’ll watch Ki.”

“Good,” he tucked her hair behind her ear and placed a kiss on her head. “We’ll be back soon,” he said to Pepper.

“We’ll be here,” Pepper said.

Picking up Stornbreaker once more, he and Tony went outside. He looked up at the darkening sky, where the stars were just beginning to shine.

“So, how do we do this?” Tony asked.

“Stay close to me,” Thor replied. Once Tony was close enough, he raised Stormbreaker above his head and called forth the Bifröst. It enveloped them, whisking them off to Vanaheim.

* * *

Tony wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting for travel via Bifröst but the psychedelic colors had not been one of them. Then again, it _was_ known as the Rainbow Bridge. He’d almost expected travel to at least seem instantaneous but it wasn’t. He wished he’d thought of activating his suit to record what he was seeing. Maybe he would if he thought of it on the way back.

They landed in a field on the daytime side of Vanaheim. Tony was instantly regretting his winter jacket. He stripped it off and looked around. It looked surprisingly like Earth, from what he was able to see.

Thor silently began to walk and Tony was able to see buildings in the distance. He glanced behind him briefly and felt his lips twist up into a smirk. Instant lawn ornamentation, yep, still there.

As they neared the gate of what Tony could only describe as a medieval city they were met by riders on horseback. _More space Vikings,_ he thought. Tony wished he had the time to actually enjoy being on another planet.

“King Thor,” said the closest rider. “Your Lord Uncle dispatched us to meet you upon sight of the Bifröst.” The man’s gaze traveled across them. “Prince Loki is not with you?”

“That is why we are here,” Thor said. Thor gestured to him, “This is Anthony Stark, the Man of Iron and one of Midgard’s greatest warriors.”

“Well met, Man of Iron,” the rider said to him.

Tony gave a small wave, “Yeah you too. Look I hate to be a Debby Downer but we are on kind of a time crunch here.”

Thor nodded, “I need to speak to Lord Freyr at once.”

The rider nodded, “Of course, this way.”

They were led to a large stone castle that was a lot more ornate than what Tony would expect from a Medieval culture and also just from what he’d seen of the town. It appeared more Greek in nature, with black and white marble columns and limestone floors, though there was lots of stone. Lots and lots of stone.

They followed their guide to an anteroom outside of the Great Hall, where Tony could hear many voices coming from. The rider left them and a few minutes later a tall blonde man who Tony would have placed his age in his late fifties entered from the other door. This had to be Freyr. Tony could see a vague family resemblance between the man and Thor.

“Nephew,” Freyr said, giving Thor a quick embrace. “Dagr said you had returned.” He held out his hand to Tony. “He also mentioned you brought a Midgardian with you. I am Freyr, Lord Protector of Vanaheim.”

Tony shook his hand. “Tony Stark, billionaire, philanthropist, lost the playboy when I got married.”

Freyr seemed confused by both the handshake and Tony’s words. “A pleasure.” He gestured for them all to sit which they did. To Thor he said, “Loki is not with you?”

“No,” Thor said with a shake of his head. “He is why we have come though.”

Freyr smiled, “What mischief has your brother gotten himself into this time?”

“Loki is ill, uncle. He’s contracted Seiðr-Eyða.”

Freyr sat up sharply, his eyes becoming wide. “Seiðr-Eyða? How in the _Nine_ did he come into contact with that?”

“That’s what we’re trying to find out,” Tony said. “It was on a book he brought back with him last time he was here. The virus on the book is dead but the virus was genetically modified to target Loki specifically. We need to find whoever made the thing so we can find a cure.”

“And you believe it originated here?” Freyr asked.

“It’s the only lead we have. Mind if we scope out your library? Or wherever it was he got the book?”

“You truly believe he contracted it here?” Freyr asked.

“It is the only thing that makes sense Uncle,” Thor said.

“I thought the disease had been wiped out.”

“Apparently not.”

“Look,” Tony said, “we can argue semantics all day but that won’t do us any good. What we _do _know is A. he has it, B. he’s _dying_ and C. it came from here. We’re running out of time.”

“He’s right,” Thor said in agreement. “We don’t have time to speculate.”

“I will inquire around for who could have manufactured the Seiðr-Eyða virus,” Freyr said. “I’m not sure how much good it will do since there is no cure for Seiðr-Eyða.”

Tony stood, eager to begin searching. “It may not do us any good at all in the end but Loki is my friend and I’m going to at least try to find a cure.”

“I will not let my brother die without a fight,” Thor said, clenching his fists.

Freyr cocked an eyebrow, “I wouldn’t expect you to.” He stood as well, “Frigga would want me to help you in any way that I can.” He winced slightly, “I would not be able to show my face in Valhalla if I ignored your and Loki’s plight. My sister would find a way to murder me there.”

Tony had heard stories of Frigga from both Thor and Loki. From what he’d been told it sounded like Mama Bear would find a way back from beyond the grave to protect her cubs. Also, Loki _totally _seemed like he’d been a mama’s boy.

“I will make inquiries,” Freyr said, “and you are free to do so as well. Heidrun is the keeper of our library. She may be able to help you.”

“Thank you Uncle,” Thor said.

Freyr nodded then returned to the Great Hall. Tony followed Thor from the room. They left the anteroom and made their way down a long set of hallways until they came to a large set of doors. Thor pushed them open and Tony whistled once he caught sight of the room. It had to be at least fifty feet from floor to ceiling with bookshelves covering the walls. It even had that old dusty library smell.

Tony clapped his hands together and affected a British accent. “For this venture I shall be playing the part of Sherlock Holmes. Come, my dear Watson, let us solve this mystery.”

He glanced at Thor out of the corner of his eye. Thor’s expression of seriousness didn’t change as he moved further into the library.

“Tough crowd,” Tony muttered under his breath. He touched his ARC reactor to retrieve his glasses and put them on. The lenses flashed as they scanned the surrounding area. Tony had taken a sample from the tome and entered the information into F.R.I.D.A.Y’s databanks so he would have a reference to compare with while searching.

They found a young red-haired woman putting away books. She startled when she saw them.

“Are you Heidrum?” Thor asked.

“I am, milord,” she answered. “How can I help you?”

“My brother was here a couple of weeks back. One of the tomes he took from here made him ill. I would see where he acquired it from.”

Her brows drew together in confusion. “Prince Loki is ill from a book?”

“It was something on the book,” Tony said. He held out his hand. “Hi, Tony Stark, billionaire, philanthropist, no longer a playboy and in kind of a time crunch here so if you could point us in the direction of the books on seiðr that would be great, thanks.”

He received the same blank look from her that he’d gotten from Freyr. She looked to Thor, “There are many books on seiðr-craft. Which ones were you looking to find?”

“The fundamentals,” Thor replied.

Her eyebrows rose in surprise. “The Prince was inquiring about the fundamentals of seiðr?”

“Loke’s was gonna teach me how it works,” Tony said, frustration beginning to build. He tapped at his wristwatch. “We’re burning daylight here.” At her offended look Tony said, “I’m rough around the edges, I know, but my friend is dying and I’d really like to try and find a way to help him.”

Something flashed across her face but it was gone so quickly that Tony didn’t have time to identify it. She gathered her skirts in her hands, “If you’ll follow me then.”

Heidrum led them further into the library. Tony shared a quick look with Thor, hoping he’d made more sense out of her expression than he had. “You are Asgardian,” Thor said.

“I am,” she confirmed. Tony knew that a few of the surviving Asgardians had chosen not to remain on Earth. “However I still have some family here so I decided to return to them.”

They continued on in silence, passing many bookshelves. Tony could even see more rooms attached the library with more books stacked within. Finally they stopped in one of the offshoot rooms. To Tony it looked like what he’d expect as an alchemist’s laboratory. Every available wall space was covered in books except for a table in the back covered with containers and vials of things Tony didn’t want to even begin to guess at. There was even a table in the center of the room with jars and a plethora of other medieval science-like equipment. He glanced at the labels on the jars, unfortunately they weren’t in a language he could read.

Heidrum moved to a shelf at the back of the room. “These tomes are where those just beginning to learn the craft would start. I hope you are able to find what you are looking for. If you have need of further assistance please let me know.”

She left them and Thor moved over to the shelf she’d pointed out and began to scan the tomes. Tony went over as well. He pulled out a book at random and started to page through it. “I seriously need to learn to read Runes,” Tony said.

Thor set Stornbreaker to lean against another shelf. “I wish I knew what I was looking for.”

He put the book back down and began to scan the surrounding area. The display on his glasses comparing the substances on the nearby objects to the traces of Seiðr-Eyða that had remained on the original tome. So far, nothing was matching. He pushed his glasses up to rub his eyes. “Maybe we’re looking at this all wrong.”

“What do you mean?” Thor asked, digging around another of the shelves.

“We know this was targeted specifically to Loki which means that whoever made this probably did so while you guys were here last time. Besides, how would whoever know to put the disease on _that _specific book? Did Loki get any weird vibes when you guys were here?”

Thor paused and seemed to think about it. “Not that he mentioned.”

“Any stalkers?”

Thor’s brow furrowed, “What?”

“Who knew Loki was going to be in the library?”

Thor shrugged, “Almost anyone I would guess. It was never any secret that Loki loves books. He constantly frequented the libraries of Asgard.” He put the book he’d been holding back. “Though now that I think about it he did mention at one of our dinners with the nobility that he wanted to try and recover some of the knowledge that was lost with Asgard’s destruction. Copies of various books we’d had in Asgard were kept here.”

“Look, I feel like this may be a little cliché but what about the librarian? She’s Asgardian, you think she might hold a grudge against your brother?”

It looked to Tony that Thor had never considered the idea. “It is possible,” Thor conceded.

“Well she would have definitely known that Loki was here and she may have even helped him find what he was looking for. She got this strange look on her face earlier when I mentioned Loki’s condition. It was only there for a second but it was definitely something.”

“I saw it too,” Thor said, looking thoughtful.

Tony swept his gaze around the room one more time. The HUD in his glasses began to blink. He stepped over to a shelf on the opposite side of the room. He read what the display was telling him and smiled, “Jackpot.”

“You’ve found something?”

Tony opened his jackets inner pocket and pulled out a swab and vile. He took a sample from the shelf and tucked it carefully back into the pocket. “There’s a consistency with the dust here that was on the book Loki had.” He read the display some more. “The sample is degraded but still more than what was left on the book.” He turned back to Thor. “We are definitely in the right place.” He frowned slightly as he took in the room again. “You know, this room practically _screams _‘Mad Scientist’. Is this normal?”

“For those practicing seiðr, it’s not unusual. Loki used to have an area in his room where he could experiment with various potions. That is, until he nearly blew himself up and mother took it away.”

“That’s sounds about right,” Tony said with a small smile. “Let’s go find the librarian.”

Together they left the room and searched the library for Heidrum. Their suspicions grew when they were unable to locate her.

Lightning crackled up Thor’s arm when it became obvious she was no longer in the library. “She poisoned my brother.”

“We need to find her. She may know how to cure it.”

They left the library. Thor said he was going to inform his uncle of what they had discovered. Tony said he’d start to search the city. He activated his suit, which formed around him as he made his way outside. He took to the sky to do a sweep over the city, capturing each face as he did so. Tony knew they were running out of time. He just hoped they found Heidrum soon and that she would have the answers they needed.

* * *

Pepper helped Happy move the medical equipment he’d brought with him into Loki’s room where Eir began to set everything up so they could monitor Loki’s condition. Happy’s eyes had nearly budged out of his head when he’d seen Loki’s blue skin but one look from her had kept him from saying anything.

The machines Loki was now hooked up to was disconcerting. The steady beep of the heart monitor not as reassuring as it should have been. Eir had started an IV drip which she also used to introduce medications into Loki’s system. Happy was back in the living room, still a little freaked out by Loki’s appearance.

Eir adjusted the line to Loki’s arm. “I have put him into a coma and given him powerful suppressants,” she said. “All I can do now is monitor his condition and hope the king and your husband return in time with what we need.”

Pepper nodded silently and stepped aside so the other woman could leave the room. Pepper stepped over to the bed and gazed down at Loki’s prone form. She felt her heart breaking too see him like this. The Loki she had come to know and love as family was energetic and full of life. He could bring a smile to someone’s lips just as easily as he could cut them with his sharp tongue.

“Mommy.”

Pepper turned to see Morgan in the doorway clutching tightly to her stuffed bear. Her eyes were fixed on her uncle. “Yes sweetie.”

Morgan crept closer until she could wrap an arm around Pepper’s leg. “Mommy, I don’ want Ki to go away.”

Pepper scooped her daughter up into her arms. “I don’t either sweetheart. Miss Eir is going to do everything she can for him and your daddy and Uncle Thor are looking for medicine to help him.”

Morgan lay her head on her mother’s shoulder. “Is it my fault Ki’s sick?”

“What?” Pepper asked, tilting Morgan’s head up. “Why would you think that?”

Morgan’s lips trembled and her eyes filled with tears. “Cause I wanted to play in the snow and Ki took me an’ he got sick cause we was outside.”

Pepper moved to the chair she had brought in so she could keep vigil and sat. “No, no sweetie. Loki didn’t get sick because he took you outside. Loki got sick because someone gave it to him on purpose. You didn’t do anything. Loki would tell you the same thing if he were awake.”

Morgan snuggled against her though she kept her head turned enough so she could still see Loki. “Was it the Bad Man?”

Pepper sighed. The “Bad Man” was how they had described Thanos to her. “No, it wasn’t him. Uncle Thor beat him, remember?”

Morgan nodded against her chest. Pepper could feel her shirt becoming damp from were Morgan’s tears landed. She swiped away her own tears then squeezed her daughter tight. If the time came were Eir said Loki would not survive Pepper wasn’t sure what she would do. She did not want Morgan’s last memory of Loki to be his death. She prayed to whatever higher powers that were listening that a cure would be found in time. _Just hold on a little longer. _She thought to the comatose trickster. _Just a little longer._

* * *

Tony scoured the city. After his flyover he landed to start asking the people if they had seen Heidrum. No one seemed to be able to give him any information, nor did they really seem willing. He wished he’d thought to grab a comm for Thor to have. Maybe people weren’t answering him because they didn’t know him.

He made his way back to the city center. His armor turned heads a few times. He smiled and waved at the next group of people to gawk at him.

“Tony.”

He turned at the call of his name. He saw Thor making his way towards him. Tony stood as the thunderer approached. “I’ve got bubpkis,” Tony said before Thor could say anything further. “I don’t know if it’s because I’m not a local but no one is really willing to talk to me. They either don’t know who Heidrum is or they have no idea where she could be. Someone has to know where she lives, at least.”

“Freyr said he would send out his guards to search for her. He had also ordered his healers to research Seiðr-Eyða for a cure.”

It wasn’t what they’d hoped for but it was better than nothing. “I still feel like these people know where she is, they just don’t want to tell me. Seriously, _someone _has to know Heidrum.”

“Heidrum the librarian?”

He and Thor turned at the sound of the young boy’s voice. Tony would have pegged the kid to be around ten if he hadn’t known better. “You know her?”

“Yes, she lives on the edge of the city with her aunt and uncle.” The kid gave them a suspicious look. “Why are you looking for her?”

“She may have information on how we can help my brother,” Thor said, placing a hand on the boy’s shoulder. “Do you think you can help us?”

The boy’s eyes grew wide. “You’re the King of Asgard, aren’t you? You’re Thor.”

“I am,” Thor said. “Do you know where we can find Heidrum?”

“Yeah, I’ll show you where she lives.” The boy led the way. “I’m Tomid,” he said.

“We thank you for your help Tomid,” Thor said.

Tomid smiled, “It’s a pleasure to help the King of Asgard.” His gaze turned curious as he looked at Tony. “I’ve never seen armor like that before. Where did you get it?”

“I made it,” Tony replied.

The kid’s eyebrows shot up. “You’re a blacksmith?”

“Nope, engineer. Among other things.”

“What’s an engineer?”

Tony looked to Thor, not quite sure how to explain it. “Well,” Tony said, rubbing his chin, “I work with machines. Design ‘em, build ‘em, you name it.” He gestured to his suit. “This is a complex machine.” By the look on his face, Tony didn’t think the kid understood. “Next time we come here I’ll explain it better. We don’t really have the time for an in depth explanation.”

“Where are you from?”

“Earth.” Another blank look from the kid. Tony shook his head. “That’s right, you guys don’t call it that. You guys call it what, Midgard?”

“You’re from Midgard!” exclaimed Tomid.

Tony threw up his hands. “Seriously, why is everyone so surprised by that? I feel like I’m a sideshow freak or something.”

“It is unusual for a Midgardian to venture to another realm,” Thor said.

“Good point.”

They finally came to a house that reminded Tony of a cottage, like the ones found in the UK. They could easily make out voices arguing within.

“Thank you Tomid,” Thor said turning to the boy. “We will continue from here.”

Tomid nodded though he looked uncertain. He turned away, heading back the way they had come. Once he was out of sight Tony and Thor shared a look before Thor went and pounded on the door.

The voices inside abruptly stopped. The door opened to reveal Heidrum and the look of fear that flashed across her face only helped to confirm their suspicions. “King Thor w-what are you doing here?”

“I believe you already know the answer to that,” Thor said, his expression stern.

“Come away from the door Heidrum,” said the red haired man who must have been her uncle.

“But Uncle—”

“_Now,_ Heidrum.”

She flinched slightly before doing as she was told. The man glared at them, “To what do I owe the honor of Asgard’s King on my doorstep?”

“We need to speak to Heidrum,” Thor said.

“I am afraid she is unavailable.”

Tony raised an eyebrow. “I’d believe that more if she hadn’t just been standing there.”

“Be that as it may, you will not speak to her. Good day.”

Thor caught the door before it could slam closed. “This is not open to debate. I will speak to her and I will do so now. I believe she has information that can help my brother.”

The man began to laugh at them. “Help the Trickster? There is no help for him.”

Thunder rumbled in the distance as Tony felt his blood run cold. He came to a sudden realization. “You know how he was poisoned.”

“Poisoned? You speak as if that boy’s life is worth anything. After the destruction he helped to bring about, death by Seiðr-Eyða is barely a fitting punishment.”

“Loki is innocent!” Thor cried.

The man laughed again. “‘Loki’ and ‘innocent’ do not belong in the same sentence.” Fire burned in the man’s blue eyes as he glared at Thor. “However, his crimes are not why I did it. I did this because of _you!_” He spat at Thor. “You and the damn House of Odin. May you all suffer greatly and rot in Hel.”

Thor looked as if he’d been given a physical blow. Tony heard the hum of his repulsors charging. It took a great amount of willpower not to blast the man away. “What did they ever do to you?”

The man’s look was scathing as he scrutinized Tony. “What have they done? I will tell you _mortal._ Because of the House of Odin, our beloved princess, Frigga, was taken to be Odin’s wife as a _war prize._”

“My parents loved each other!” Thor yelled.

“Ha! Perhaps it grew into love but Odin was ever her captor and her rapist, forced to bear _you._ Then, centuries later, you _let her die._ Yet that isn’t even the worst of the Odinson’s crimes. My beloved niece has lost her whole family because of you.”

Heidrum returned, gripping her uncle by the arm and trying to pull him inside. “Uncle Isak, please, stop! The King is not responsible for what happened to my family.”

“Isn’t he?” Isak asked, not moving an inch. “Because of the _King _the Titan won. That’s right,” Isak sneered at Thor’s flinch at the mention of the Titan, “Heidrum’s family is gone because you didn’t kill the Titan and since you have taken what is precious to her I will take what you value most, your Norns-forsaken brother.”

“What Thanos did isn’t Thor’s fault!” yelled Tony.

Thor hung his head and to Tony it looked like he believed the shit that was coming out of the asshole’s mouth. “If you want to punish me, fine,” Thor said softly, “but please don’t punish Loki for my failings.”

“It’s not punishment, it’s justice.”

“Killing a man for another’s crimes is not justice Uncle,” said Heidrum. “Stop this madness, please.”

Isak’s expression softened as he took in his nieces tear filled eyes. He reached up to wipe at her cheek. “You have shed too many tears child. Your loss is too great to bear.”

“But it is _mine _to bear.”

His gaze hardened again. “No, your husband and children… your _newborn,_ turned to dust.”

Tony flinched this time. If anything ever happened to Morgan he didn’t know what he would do. “I know how you feel.”

“How could you possibly know mortal,” Isak scoffed.

“I lost my _son_ to the Snap!” Tony yelled. “I held him as he dissolved into dust.” He glared at Isak. “So yeah, I know how it feels to lose a kid and it sucks like nothing else but you know what? I don’t blame Thor or Loki. It’s not their fault for what happened. They are two of my best friends and if Loki dies, buddy, Hell is going to seem like a vacation to what I’ll do to you.”

The glaring contest began again until Heidrum let out a yell of frustration and ran back inside. She returned a moment later with a small leather bound book and a vile. She thrust it at them. “Here are all of my uncle’s notes—”

“Heidrum!”

“—take them. Help your brother. There has been too much death already.”

Thor took the items, clutching them to his chest. “Thank you.”

“It won’t matter,” Isak said, an evil smile twisting his lips. “I designed it to act faster than the normal virus. You’ll be lucky if he isn’t dead already.”

Thor paled, “We must go.”

“Yeah,” Tony agreed. There was just one thing he needed to do first. He grabbed Heidrum’s wrist to pull her away from her uncle then lifted his hand, shooting a blast of his repulsor at the man. Heidrum let out a cry of shock as Isak went sailing back into the house to crash into a far wall. “There, now we can go.” Thor looked surprised but didn’t say anything. Over his shoulder Tony called, “You might want to run. Pretty sure the guy who runs this place won’t be too happy to learn you were the ones who tried to kill his nephew!”

Once they were far enough away from the cottage, Thor raised Stormbreaker and the Bifröst engulfed them once more, this time to take them back home.

* * *

Upon their return Thor had given Lady Eir the items they had acquired and the healer had rushed to begin working on a cure. That had been two days ago. Lady Eir had returned briefly a short time ago to take a blood sample from Loki. He hoped that meant she was close to finding a cure.

Thor’s back popped as he shifted in his chair. They had all been taking turns keeping vigil at Loki’s bedside. Thor hated seeing his brother in such a state. Part of him had feared that Isak’s prediction would have already come to pass by the time they arrived.

Morgan lay asleep, curled up against Loki’s side. From what Pepper had told him, she spent most of her day by his brother’s side. He’d come in one time to find her “reading” to Loki. His heart broke every time her face would fall when Loki didn’t respond to her. They had explained that Loki was in a very deep sleep and that was why he didn’t reply. They assured the little girl that Loki could hear her so when she wasn’t sleeping she was constantly talking.

Thor ran a hand though his hair, tugging slightly on the braid of dark hair behind his left ear before letting go. He sighed, rubbing at his dry eyes. He knew he needed sleep but, like Tony and Pepper, sleep eluded him.

“Hey.” Thor tipped his head back to see Tony entering the room. The other man stretched, yawning as he did so. “Hear anything from Eir yet?”

Thor turned his gaze back to his brother with a shake of his head. The machines hummed quietly. “Nothing yet.” He eyed the corner of Loki’s bed. It was beginning to look very good. So was the floor beside it. His eyelids were _so _heavy. “What time is it?”

“Uh… sometime after one, I think.”

“A.M or P.M?”

“A.M. very, very A.M. Pepper’s making midnight snacks.” Tony flopped down on the floor beside Thor’s chair. “I don’t even remember the last time I slept. I think it was before we went to Vanaheim.”

“That was three days ago.”

“Yeah, and I’m pretty sure my blood has turned into straight caffeine by now.” His head came to rest against Thor’s knee. “Once Loki gets better I’m going to crash so hard.”

Thor whole heartedly agreed with that sentiment.

Pepper arrived a few minutes later with a plate of sandwiches and some drinks. She hooked her foot around one of the other chairs they had brought in and swung it to face the other two. “If we’re not going to sleep, we might as well eat,” she sounded just as tired as Thor felt.

He took one of the offered sandwiches and nodded his thanks. He caught movement on the bed and saw Morgan stir a little. She pulled the blanket tighter around her and rubbed her face against Loki’s shoulder, holding Loki’s arm in her own. Her lips drew down in a frown before she settled once more.

He swallowed his bite, taking a deep breath, his appetite suddenly gone. “I was supposed to protect him,” Thor said to the silent room.

“This isn’t your fault Thor,” Tony said.

“Isn’t it? Isak only targeted Loki because of me.”

“Maybe, but if Loki was awake he’d call you an idiot for saying that.”

“Thor,” said Pepper, “you can’t blame yourself for someone else’s actions. Loki wouldn’t want you to.”

“I know.” Thor’s gaze landed on his brother once more. Loki’s azure skin had paled to a sickly gray making his heritage lines more prominent. He set his plate on the floor then moved towards the bed. He rung out the cloth from the bowl of warm water and used it to wipe the sweat from Loki’s brow. “It’s just so hard to see him like this. What’s worse is I know there is nothing I can do to help him.”

“You’re here and I’m sure he knows that,” Pepper said. “Being here for him is enough.”

“Do you come bearing good news?” Tony asked.

Thor turned around, he hadn’t heard Lady Eir enter. The healer’s expression did not raise Thor’s hopes.

“I believe I have finally synthesized a cure however,” here she paused, meeting his gaze, “it may already be too late. The last sample of blood I took from him... his seiðr was almost nonexistent.” She moved past Thor to access Loki’s IV where she injected the contents of the syringe she had brought with her. “I am hoping his body will begin to produce it again but if his levels are too low then I’m afraid there will be nothing more I can do.”

Thor pressed his lips together to keep them from trembling. It was a futile effort. His tears blurred his gaze, “Thank you for everything you have done.”

“I will remain and continue to monitor his condition.” Her gaze scrutinized each of them. “When was the last any of you have slept?”

Tony held two thumbs up, his posture screaming sarcasm. “Nearly four days and going strong.”

Her worried gaze swept over them. “You all need to rest.”

“I’m not leaving my brother.”

“Healer’s orders,” Lady Eir’s tone brokered no argument. Thor tried to protest but she continued to speak. “In the matters of your health, I outrank you, my king. I don’t care if you sleep on the floor but you _do _need sleep. All of you do.”

“But what if—”

“I will wake you should something happen.”

Pepper and Tony left the room and returned with their arms full of pillows and blankets. “Slumber party,” Tony said.

They spread the blankets out on the floor, leaving room for Lady Eir to move back and forth to the bed. Thor lay on the floor, his gaze on the ceiling. He didn’t think he would be able to sleep, his worry for Loki too great. He needed to keep vigil. His eyes grew heavy once more. He blinked them open only for them to fall shut again. The scent of lavender filled his nose, Lady Eir was playing dirty. His eyes struggled open only to lose the fight. His body finally succumbed to the sleep it craved.

* * *

Someone was playing with his hand. That was one of the first things Loki became aware of. There was a weight on the left side of him and a low voice murmuring nonsense. It took him a minute for his brain to parse out what was being said.

“...polish. I only gotz pink.” A pause. “Maybe mommy will get me some like yours.” This time, a heavy sigh. “I wish you’d wake up Ki. I don’t want you to go away. Mommy said Miss Eir gave you more icky medicine but...” There was movement then Morgan’s hair brushed his cheek as she lay beside him, “that was _forever _ago. I don’ want you sick no more.”

Very carefully, Loki moved his arm to wrap it around her. He blinked his heavy eyes open. Sleep still called to him but the late morning sunshine coming in his window was nice. “Guess you’re stuck with me for a while then.”

“_Ki!_” Morgan’s smiling face accompanied her excited cry. “Mommy, daddy, T’or! Ki’s awake! Ki’s awake!”

The amount of fevered movement from his floor caused Loki to look that way. Three bodies shot up, each looking at mixture of half asleep, scared shitless and surprised. The bed head each of them sported was kind of funny. “Why are you on my floor?”

“Loki!” Thor scrambled up, nearly tripping over the blankets around him.

Loki pushed himself to sit up against his headboard. In doing so he caught sight of the machines he was hooked to. Morgan wrapped herself as far around his torso as she could reach. “What happened?” he asked. With his free hand he gestured to the machines. “What is all of this?”

Anger flashed across Thor’s face. “You nearly killed yourself, that’s what happened. What were you thinking, teleporting away like that?”

Now Loki remembered. He glanced down to his still very blue hand. “I did it so you wouldn’t have to watch me die.”

Lady Eir pushed herself past Thor, checking Loki over. “No one is going to watch you die,” the healer said. Once she seemed satisfied with what she saw she placed her hands on her hips. The glare she gave him was one he and Thor had been on the receiving end of all too often as children. “I swear boy, between you and your brother, it’s a wonder if don’t have more gray hair.”

“I’m sorry...” He said lamely.

“How do you feel?”

Loki thought about it for a moment. He was tired, a little hungry but other than that. “Fine,” he replied. “I’m tired but,” now he was confused, “there is no pain.”

Lady Eir nodded, “good. Then it seems to be working. You are starting to get color back in your cheeks. How does your seiðr feel?”

Loki closed his eyes, drawing his focus inward. His seiðr fluttered. It was weak but still there. It felt similar to the times when he had overtaxed it. Opening his eyes he said, “It’s weak but alive.”

She nodded again. “I want you to try something simple. A witch light perhaps, and tell me how it feels.”

Loki raised his hand, calling forth the simple spell his mother had taught him so long ago. A little light flickered above his palm. He braced himself for the excruciating pain and was surprised when there was none. He dispelled the light. “It didn’t hurt.”

From behind Lady Eir, Thor beamed. Tony and Pepper looked relieved as well. “So it worked,” Tony said.

“It appears so,” replied Lady Eir.

At Loki’s look of confusion Thor began to explain. “Tony and I went to Vanaheim and found the one who created the disease. We brought back his notes and Lady Eir found a cure. You had been in a coma for almost four days.”

Loki’s jaw dropped in shock. The last thing he remembered was raging about what he was. He didn’t remember anything after teleporting away. Truthfully he’d expected the expenditure of his magic to kill him.

Loki looked down at his hand again and concentrated. There had been no pain with the witch light so... A wave of relief washed over him as his skin began to shift back to his Æsir form. The feeling of _wrong _he’d had ever since he’d been forced into his Jötunn form disappearing as more of the blue vanished as well as the Norns awful cold he’d been suffering.

Lady Eir’s raised eyebrow had him briefly rethinking his decision but he was himself again, that was all he cared about. “What?”

“Nothing,” Lady Eir replied with a long suffering sigh. “You are on healer’s orders to continue to rest.” She turned her gaze to the others in the room. “That goes for all of you.”

“Yes ma’am,” Thor said.

“I will return periodically to check on you. Rest, light meals and lots of fluids. I want to keep the IV for a little while longer. I should take it out by the end of the day.”

With that, and one last look over of the machines, Lady Eir took her leave. Thor climbed onto the bed, nearly tackling Loki in a bear hug. Loki cried out, twisting to keep Morgan from getting squished. It turned out to be a futile effort as Pepper and Tony joined them too. Morgan giggled, “doggy pile.”

Loki was thankful for his king size bed. At least he didn’t have to worry about it collapsing. With an air of melodrama he said, “Back from the brink of death only to be smothered by my oaf of a brother.”

“And his merry men,” Tony added. “Ow, and woman, geeze.”

Loki laughed and it felt good to do so. He had never expected to beat the Mage disease. He flinched as he was poked in his side, “What are you doing?”

“Trying to find a good spot to use you as a pillow,” Tony replied.

“I think Morgan has dibs on using Loki as a pillow,” Pepper said.

Morgan snuggled against him, her head tucked under his chin. “My Ki.”

Thor put his arm behind Loki’s head and pulled Loki against his side. Pepper lay on Loki’s other side, careful of the IV still in his arm and Tony curled up behind her. Loki would normally rail against such displays of affection just to annoy his brother but he couldn’t bring himself to do so this time.

The bed shook slightly as Tony rose up to his elbows. With one hand he made a pulling down gesture in front of his face. “End scene.”

_Smack!_ “Tony!”

“Ow!”

Morgan giggled.

**Author's Note:**

> I love writing Tony, he's so much fun. I wasn't intending the Sherlock reference, it just happened.
> 
> I know there are a lot of fics out there where Loki is accepting of his heritage but mine aren't going to be one of them. I'm sure at some point WAY down the road Loki'll just take it in stride but I don't see that happening anytime soon. I peg Loki as being very resistant of it especially given the stories they would have grown up with as children. 
> 
> But, ah! Morgan, her cuteness knows no bounds! I love the Loki & Morgan interaction. That's not going away anytime soon.
> 
> Reviews and Kudos always welcome. Until next time!


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